Friday, March 17, 2006

ZP Quotes

TABLE OF CONTENTS
Just kidding. Last Updated: July 7, 2010

+ = new quotes

In alphabetical order

-Ben the Fantastic
-Blu
-bored_1
-Calvatronic
-ch4ot1c
-Cole
-Dark Nayru
-Darth Ales
-DragonStarr14
-DrkMtx
-Elven Waffle
-Ezhno
-Facelessman
-firecheetah+3
-Fireyo
-freebooter
-Furzmet
-Gatsby
-Goddess Din+1
-Groucho
-houseofblackleaves
-Kao
-Kaden
-Keropium
-kpak
-Largo+1
-Legend of Shadow
-Lel
-LIN7_swordmaster
-Linko_16
-Lord Evan
-Maj2004
-Majoraslayer
-MaLink
-maybeitllwork
-Mike
-Muffin Mage+1
-Niroht
-Pinflan Jinglewit
-pink
-Poe the Great
-Priestess of Farore+3
-PrincessCordelia
-PyroSyde
-Raikou
-RoseofLonLonRanch
-Rosie
-Roy
-Sage
-ShadowLink7
-Sky
-skyfairie
-SonicShadow23
-Sorrow
-symuun
-SZF2001
-The Teej
-Triforce King
-vgamer 1
-Waddle doo
-Wolfra
-Ydna
-zaketo
-Zan-Kun
-ZC
-zeypherlink
-Zombie Hugz
-Multiple people+1


Ben the Fantastic

Linux is gay. People who use Linux use it just to say they use Linux. Fact. -Ben

I had assumed being harassed by old insane sexual deviants was a common occurrence in Toronto. -Ben

I don't know if I've ever formally "asked someone out". One day we're just chilling, and the next day she's pregnant. It's the Canadian way! -Ben the Fantastic

It's okay to make stereotypical judgments about the homicidal as long as you have one as a friend and he's cool with it. -Ben the Fantastic

You guys are nuts, there's nothing odd about a 23 year old dating a 19 year old. Some guys just like their bitches young, that's what my grandpa told me before he went to jail. -Ben the Fantastic

My guilty pleasure is collecting other people's guilty pleasures. I write them down on bits of paper and keep them in a jar beside my bed. -Ben the Fantastic

Prooker, you're like a deadbeat dad who keeps returning home every few years just to take the kids to the carnival and out for ice cream to restore their hope and love for you like everything is going to be alright but then you take off again two days before my birthday like none of it ever mattered WHY DON'T YOU LOVE ME DADDY WHHHY -Ben the Fantastic

My former girlfriend used to always drag me to "La Senza", a store I can only assume is completely identical to Victoria's Secret. It's difficult to find places to look in those stores that don't make you feel like you're doing something inappropriate. -Ben the Fantastic

You think bra shopping is hard? Try shopping for undershirts. The choice between regular or v-shaped neck is a dilemma that I will forever be vexed. -Ben the Fantastic

Apparently Mac keyboards don't have an insert key. Where the insert key should be, there's a "help" key. You know what would help? An "insert" key. Fuck you, Apple. -Ben the Fantastic

The thing I love about Half Life games is their ability to make a normally aggressive gamer such as myself run away from certain enemies like a little girl. Like the flaming fast zombie I just encountered a few minutes ago. -Ben the Fantastic

I don't know what a "curd" is but I guarantee you I will never eat one. I don't eat things that have a gross name. - Ben the Fantastic

I've always wanted a spy camera but I can't think of any non-creepy justification to get one. -Ben the Fantastic

It's because you cut pizza into triangular shapes. Triangle food generally isn't good for you. Pizza, cake, pie, etc. I think it has something to do with the law of cosines. -Ben the Fantastic

I wonder if vegetarians who turn into zombies are still vegetarians? -Ben the Fantastic

Grading with numbers? Blasphemy. In Canada, we grade with different types of vegetables. I got a cucumber on my calculus exam! -Ben the Fantastic

Godzilla was like...THE original pwner of noobs. Everyone should be able to respect him for that. -Ben

Pfft, I barely have ANY terabytes of porn on this computer. -Ben the Fantastic

Trolling a chan. It's like pissing in an ocean of piss. -Ben the Fantastic

I knew it! I suspected [Midna of Twilight and lunaharvest] were related right from the beginning, when she said, "This is lunaharvest, she is my sister". -Ben the Fantastic

Foxes are annoying, they're always getting in the way of my tires. -Ben the Fantastic

Don't you get it Gatsby? When you die on the internet, you die in real life! -Ben the Fantastic

POST PICS. Don't be afraid to post inappropriate ones, I'm sure we can bend the rules just for this occasion. -Ben the Fantastic

When I was in grade 4, I couldn't find one of my boots at the end of the day. The bus was almost going to leave, so I stole some other kid's boot and took off. -Ben the Fantastic

But if taste was your only sense, then you would have no form of communication what-so-ever. You would just have to hope that people stick delicious things in your mouth. -Ben the Fantastic

We had a moose threat once. Someone freed a wild moose inside the school. -Ben the Fantastic

When I was in high school (bahaha I can say that now) people just used to get naked. Ewwwwwwwwwww. -Ben the Fantastic

You know, GD, if you take an umbrella with you and hang onto it long enough, you can ride the hurricane right to Canada. That's how most of us got here. -Ben

The other night pink came up to me and she's like OMG UR SO FUNNY. I was like wtf, and she showed me the page, and then my wtf turned into a WTF. -Ben

I actually got around to fixing my router, and by fixing, I mean I stopped using it. I never used it anyway. Someday when I feel like playing DS online I'll hook it up again. It only really takes a minute, but then I'll switch back when I'm done. Or maybe it'll magically fix itself over time. I'll put it back in its box, give it time to think about what it's done, then maybe when I take it back out it'll have a better attitude on life. -Ben

I put my kids in boxes. They should [come in packages], and they should come with instructions, and warranty...and extra parts just in case...[if] they lose an arm or something. -Ben

I think if ten of us applied for writing positions at IGN, 8 or 9 would succeed. It seems that long as you can tell the difference between a gameboy and an Xbox, you're qualified for IGN. -Ben

I think I'm going to write my own book: B FOR BENDETTA. -Ben

It's all in their heads, though. Usually with forums, it's the other way around. Mods are really uptight and members are always trying to rebel. But with ZP it's like the members are trying to make us enforce rules. But we're like no! Us mods are too cool to enforce stuff. B) -Ben

I just use the same [calendar] every year. Saves money. It's mighty confusing though...

You know what a fast dot is? A line. -Ben

Roses are red
Violets are grey
Shut up Kero
You are so gay!

Lel knows that when the collars are poppin', the panties are droppin'. -Ben

Don't forget that GD person, she was just a wittle gurwal when she joined. -Ben

What next will those two girls, [the Olsen twins], corrupt? The porn industry? I hope so. giggity giggity giggity XD -Ben

I can't believe so many people still use IE. Using IE over Firefox is like using Yahoo over Google. It's just wrong! -Ben

You know what my favorite ionic compound is? Na32C2HO. It spells nacho. Haha. -Ben

My basic knowledge > Wikipedia. -Ben

My car got egged once. Bastards. It was on Halloween, though, so we didn't take it personally. So the next Halloween I put eggs in a potato gun, hid in the bushes, and killed 4 people. I figure it's about even now. -Ben

What's this about "rape"? I tried that once; snot for me. LOL GET IT. BOOGERS. -Ben

In Ben we lust. -Ben

If I won $40 million dollars I'd buy 40 million lottery tickets. It's smart; I'd totally win. I'd buy a pony and then run over it with my monster truck. -Ben

Next time you're late for class, be like, "Sorry, I was deleting spam." Or if someone asks you out and you don't want to go, "Can't, I'm busy deleting spam tonight."
-Ben (after reading a research that said people waste 40 minutes each week sorting/deleting spam)

We have a Grade 10 Band, a Seniour Band, a Rock Band, and two Jazz Combos...and a guy with a bucket and a stick. -Ben


Blu

All I have to say is you guys are crazy. Cheesecake = better than sex. -Blu


bored_1

THE INTERNET is just like a brownie. Mostly sweet, but... WITH A FEW NUTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHA. AHAHA AAAAAH. -bored_1

The phone is secretly a torture device meant to make you suffer through long, drawn-out conversations like those with a girlfriend or any other blabbermouth. -bored_1

I do not want to taste mint and chocolate at the same time in my mouth. It's like brushing my teeth while having a brownie. -bored 1

What a useless tooth, those wisdom teeth. It seems like they were intentionally created to bring pain and suffering upon the human race... -bored 1

My little brother accidentally spelled his email adress with "hotmale" once. He was beaten severely for it. -bored 1

Anything lower than an A for this project would result in me kicking your HS teacher into a pit filled with crickets in hamster balls while yelling, "THIS. IS. AN AAAAAAAAAA!!!" -bored_1

Ham, Salami, Cheese, Ketchup, Mustard, Wheat Bread, and toast it all up and you have an orgasm in your mouth. -bored_1

Human destruction is the only solution for this. -bored_1

I plan to have sex with a steel condom to make SURE no pregnancies happen. -bored_1

Are your siblings overweight or obese? If so, invite me over, I'll take care of them. -bored_1

I have no problem with DMC, I just press "Page Down" on my keyboard when I see his avatar. -bored_1

Learn how to roll, it's like running, but gets you dirtier, and according to OoT, it's faster than running. -bored_1

Toes don't taste good. -bored_1


Calvatronic

I LOVE THE KKK! AND I'M BLACK! And I'm actually part of the KKK...the Kool Kids Klub! -Calvatronic


ch4ot1c

Pot is kewl... If you're 12... -ch4ot1c

Why do all 15 year old little girls who watch [Inuyasha] want to be Kagome?... Who wants to be 2D?? -ch4ot1c


Cole

I forever wish for the day when a chicken can cross the road without anybody questioning it's motives. -Cole

Turst MSN. Never trust AIM, it causes people to directly connect with each other and spread sexually transmitted viruses. -Cole


Dark Nayru

If I tried to use my Zune with a Mac, they would engage in a fight to the death. I don't think that the warranty covers wounds inflicted by dueling pistols. -Dark Nayru


Darth Ales

It feels as if everyone's sort of chasing me with a pitchfork whenever I step outside [the Twilight Princess Community]. -Darth Ales


DragonStarr14

We here in GC are Generally Cool. -DragonStarr14


DrkMtx

I give bear hugs. I don't stop till I hear bones crack. And I'm deaf. -DrkMtx

I got Guitar Hero on the DS, and I was all like diddly diddly WOW WOOWWW wa wa WOWWW and then I had to use my pinky and middle finger followed by by index and ring finger and so I was all like badda bah bahh ba DAMN I'm so fucking awesome, STAR POWER DIDDLY DIDDLY DAMN. -DrkMtx

The demos are the main reason I go to Game Stop. I don't really like it otherwise. I just play the demos to pass time while my friends buy shit. One time I got a crowd of little kids circle behind me watching me play Galaxy. There was no way I was gonna let one of them play. -DrkMtx


Elven Waffle

For Valentine's Day I ate Chocolate and glared at all the girls at school whose boyfriends bought them 10 helium balloons. Damn things kept slapping me in the face during class changes....What are they trying to prove with those things?!!?! If you want to make all the other girls feel bad... a bouquet is the way to go-- you know what I mean? -ElvenWaffle


Ezhno

Also, when menstruating, a woman's cold stare can curdle milk, make infants cry, and kill livestock. If you leave menstrual fluid on the ground on the night of a full moon, serpents can spawn from the putrefaction. -Ezhno


Facelessman

I wish I could take notes in my sleep. I can only understand my notes about half the time anyway, it really wouldn't make much a difference, but I wouldn't have to be conscious while taking them. -Facelessman

You're walking down the street and a guy jumps out if front of you and rushes toward you. The first thing you do is instinctively reach for your sword(which really isn't there). Once you realize you must have left the master sword at home, you take out the ocarina you bought on e-bay and try to warp outta there. Unfortunately, that doesn't work either. If only you hadn't played so much Zelda, you would have just run away, but instead you got beat up, robbed, and your faery didn't help you out either... -Facelessman

2 hours 33 minutes? Impressive, but I'm not gonna watch it all. If you have no life, feel free to watch it. I have to get a new bow on World of Warcraft. -Facelessman

WoW kept me busy enough while ZP was down. And I do not eat drink or breath ZP. I eat hot pockets, drink Dr. Pepper, and breath carbon monoxide and bricks. -Facelessman

I've just sort of...always known. Because I know EVERYTHING. Except for the things I don't know. -Facelessman

I would say "I'll lock and delete your face," but we can't have more than one facelessman around. -Facelessman

XD Ya might wanna check the date on the last post of the topic before posting in it. Kinda like you check the date on the milk before drinking it, you know? Otherwise, bad things might happen :constipated: -Facelessman

Ugh, every time I see a post from Hunter, I can just feel the stupidity flowing out of my monitor, now shut up and talk about something random. I LIKE PI. -Facelessman


firecheetah

I guess I'm a little disappointed that the F word is still censored as that is one of my favorite words and provides the best dramatic effect but I am pleased that bitch slut and whore are uncensored. I will now have an easier time talking to PoF. -firecheetah

WAAAAH IM POF IM A BIG BERKELEY HIPPIE THAT LOVES EARTH AND HATES HUMANS WAAAAAH. wait you arent actually like that are you -firecheetah

Kaden is actually the sickest troll alive outside of ZP -firecheetah

I stopped using periods a loooong time ago
I think it's arrogant to end a sentence with one, nothing I say is important enough to merit a PERIOD OMG FINALITY
Unless its all in a paragraph, then I do it for functionality -firecheetah

OH GOD MY LEG
OH GOD THEY BLEW IT RIGHT OFF FUCK THOSE FUCKING BASTARDS
OH GOD
BLOOD EVERYWHERE
I GOTTA
I GOTTA TELL ZP -firecheetah

What the hell is this. Seriously what the hell. Have we not all said our peace on abortion in the past billions of SD topics where it has come up? Are you pro-choice? Really? You, too? But not you? Wow I didn't know that from before. PLEASE TELL ME AGAIN. -firecheetah

I've been doing nothing the past week but play Jade Empire and watch Avatar. I sweat ancient Chinese proverbs now. -firecheetah

One man's trash is another man's sex toy. -firecheetah

The "singer" of that band sounds like my asshole when I try to shit out a baby. -firecheetah

I've NEVER had a panic attack. I think you kids need to find your faith in the Lord Jesus Christ like I have. His love keeps me from harm and worry. -firecheetah

Turkey, you're so old you were like, "Hey it's the Dinosaur" and he was like "OMG it's a human you are old." OWNED -firecheetah

Happens with a girl that sometimes works at my office. Whenever someone is around her, she has to mutter to herself exactly what she's doing. "Where is that clip... gotta check my emails... I wonder what... open this... why isn't this working... blah blah blah.... blah blah." What the fuck? Like, they do this because they think other people are watching their every move, screaming in their heads WHAT'S SHE DOING? WHY IS SHE CLICKING THAT? WHAT? WHAT'S HAPPENING?! I just want to strangle her and tell her that I care more about her being annoying than I do about what she's doing. -firecheetah

I should kidnap a bunch of strangers and force them to sing or else have them fall victim to elaborate traps. It'll be like American Idol and Saw. Only better, 'cause the host will be a shark. -firecheetah

I don't own a cell phone. I don't see the point. When I want to talk to my friends, I'll just go see them. If they can't find me, that's their fault for being stupid. If my car breaks down, I'll walk. Because I'm a man. -firecheetah

If computers are like women, then ACCESS DENIED just means PLEASE KEEP TRYING. -firecheetah

Kids these days throw the term "epic" around way too much. Something makes you laugh or smile? Not epic. Something that makes you laugh so hard you tear up a little? Not epic. Something that forces you to fall out of your chair, crawl to the door, roll outside, and shovel dirt in your mouth to stop the laughter that threatens to asphyxiate you to death? Epic. -firecheetah

Popes are allowed to be unhealthy. What kind of figurehead would you be if you didn't live a secret life of wild hedonism? -firecheetah

Sounds awesome. I hope they give Jesus a machine-gun like he had in real life. -firecheetah

I used to be a *strapping* 195, a decent weight for my significant height. Now I am a shocking 225. I didn't even notice such a gain, but it makes sense, considering I look down and I have this... this thing sticking out of the middle of me. This bag of meat filled with sandwiches and Coke. So now I guess I have to... work. Or something. I don't want to, but if I want to be the heroic Viking that I yearn to be, I guess I have to. -firecheetah

Emo--Pretending that life is a romantic dramedy, ala Garden State. Also, girl pants.- firecheetah

Once again I rush into a thread hoping to see the subject actually delivered, and once again I am left disappointed and horny. -firecheetah

Bring a gun. Someone talks to you? Shoot their kids. That's how I graduated High School. -firecheetah

I once had this weird dream where I was totally awesome and famous and everyone loved me. People were literally throwing themselves at me, hoping I'd bless them with my divinity. Indeed, I was declared the new messiah. Then I realized I wasn't dreaming. -firecheetah

I don't have a Facebook or a MySpace because they are for losers who don't know how to communicate with friends telepathically. -firecheetah

In the child's defense, he could probably fuck us all up with that stick of his. I love his expression. It's so... confident. It's like he's saying "Yeah, I'm a fat kid literally wrapped in video game controllers, but you know what? I'm still cooler than you, and I just porked your girlfriend. Face, *****." And I respect that. -firecheetah


Fireyo

I can't be bothered to watch V for Vendetta, I have to check the board every hour and see if anyone's posted anything interesting. -Fireyo


freebooter

A condom hat? that is something that could really screw with your head. -freebooter


Furzmet

Boobs are buoyant though. You don't have to worry about drowning in a pool. -Furzmet

I'm a dorm potato. -Fuzzy

I love you with so much hate. -Furzmet


Gatsby

Yeah if I saw four gigantic spider legs coming out of the clock in our living room, I'd slowly turn around and walk upstairs. I'd get a box, and put all my valuables in it. Then I'd douse the house with gasoline and burn it to the ground. Then I'd carpet bomb my city. -Gatsby

Hearing a Radiohead song is kind of like talking a bite out of an extremely hot piece of Pizza. You just keep chewing on it while it's burning your mouth and then swallow it as it scorches your throat. Oh and while we're at it, replace Pizza with horse shit. -Gatsby

If hippies care about the Earth so much, then why don't they volunteer themselves to be burned as an alternate fuel source? -Gatsby

I love Special K, one of these days I'm going to buy a kiddie pool and 20 boxes of Special K. Then I'm going to pour all the boxes inside and pour milk in and just swim in it. -Gatsby

It's God's idea of balance, he gives you guys English accents at the expense of a good climate. -Gatsby

Sexual intercourse is what causes Pregnancy. You can prevent this by wearing a condom, but that didn't work out for your parents, so always have a backup plan! -Gatsby

When I eat oranges I cut them up, I don't assault like Rosie O'Donell in a candy store, I take a minute to put it into portions and enjoy it. -The Great Gatsby

Oh, my God; I care so little, I almost passed out. -Gatsby

Too bad FF is going to crush most of your favorite games into the ground and assrape them until they go gay. -Gatsby

I don't think you want to deny Malink, last time I denied her she killed my little sister. -Gatsby


Goddess Din

I like to eat my power ups right away and keep my ghosts in a constant state of fear. Then, I WAKKA WAKKA WAKKA away like hell. Then I die and restart. -Goddess Din

I've never seen a migrating band of anything since nothing ever needs to get out of the ever-hot Mexico (Except Mexicans.) -Goddess Din

I only watched a couple of [DBZ] episodes, and it looked like every vein could be able to pump three hearts. -Goddess Din

Metallica isn't masochist? O_o; I thought that hearing them was a torture. -Goddess Din

I want to stop caring about society rules, politeness, and just tell whatever the hell I think. And get into a catfight. -Goddess Din

Dany the snail. So small and pitiful. Crushable beyond cookies. Barely visible. Is that her hump? Or her house? NO. It's her shell! Daaaaaaany the snail. Rushing to the crime scene. The robber is getting away? Trust the snail to run after him. Dany the snail. Private molusk for hire. Catching robbers at 10 m/h. Don't miss the exciting chases! Taking the ugly side of justice. Sliming her way to the court room. Searching for that traitorous chunk of salt that kill her father. Or her mother... Snails don't have a gender, you see. -Goddess Din

Is strongman some kind of red Asian thingy for horses? -Goddess Din

6 months ago I used to think that Green Day was some kind of earth-loving holiday. XP -Goddess Din

HA! But nowdays rocks have all those fancy mumbo-jumbos, in ma days of wee lass we had plain rocks, and we would have threw it at bold kids like you!! -Goddess Din

A music-loving friend of mine told me that metal christian was like: BWAKHSKLJHFAHFASJHFLKAHSKLFHJAKLSHFLK ASHKLHJ LISTEN TO JESUS *headbang* -Goddess Din

Who would have thought that toasters are the best time-traveling machines? -Goddess Din

*gets drunk on a taco* -Goddess Din

Sikaru, if we wouldn't have ruined every beautiful and well-thought idea you have had, probably by now [Mike] would have been born a girl. -Goddess Din

Don't worry, when I play around with time I promise that when I transform everyone in fish-people, you get to keep your fingers. -Goddess Din

Fine then you whiners, you can keep your frozen meat, frozen burritos, frozen everything, tasteless beer, fat women, Wendys, McDonalds, and crappy soccer teams. We have real food here. And men. -Goddess Din

THERE'S A FREAKIN' MOSQUITO LURKIN THE CEILING!! It's just flying around, never coming too close to bite me, nor close enough to kill it. GAH. IT'S DRIVING ME CRAZY. I never knew mosquitos could be this damn evil!! Just drink my blood and be gone. USE IT, SPEND IT, LET IT BE USEFUL. -Goddess Din

YOUR FACE is raw and cold! And I live in freakin' Mexico! A stupid tropical country! XP Fruit here is cheap and fresh; and we don't freeze our food like you gringos do at Wal-Mart so you can eat it three months later when you are tired of meat and there is only vegetables in the fridge! -Goddess Din

If life gives you lemons... throw them at the idiot who gave them to you instead of the oranges you asked for. -Goddess Din

Lame advice doesn't necessarily mean that I'm out of ideas. -Goddess Din

Look, is a secret so listen carefully, you can make a secret more of a secret if a secret is told secretly to that person and in secret...secretly. [SECRET]Hair dye![/SECRET] -Goddess Din

And you know what is worst Kaden? You are one of us. *evil cackle* MWAAHAHAHAHAHAH *grows an evil moustache* Oh crap, not again. -Goddess Din

Aliens have sex with my pupils whenever I read an email. D: -Goddess Din

A bad memory... This is how being pregnant starts. -Goddess Din

One of these days, I'll show you my awesome 296 1-handed push ups...while sleeping. -Goddess Din

A long time ago, I went to a vegan restaurant. 6 years later, I still complain about it. It was like chewing paper...but the bad kind of paper. -Goddess Din

Those cheap porn movies don't need lesbians or other fetishes, they need a chocolate fountain. -Goddess Din

I still want a smilie that depics sheer horror. Like, you know, a bathtub of pudding. -Goddess Din

It's a fact that the day that Symuun and I meet, the world will explode. No place can handle that much britishness and mexicanness. An epic battle will occur, pedant crumpets vs. magical dogs. -Goddess Din

I really want to kick the idiot who said that college is relaxed, student life.... -Goddess Din

If you have never heard of Snake then Evan and Sorrow will bite your head off and educate your lifeless body on their subject of their hetero-crush. -Goddess Din

I fell the other day and bumped my forehead, who will buy me a new one? -Goddess Din

Camp food sucks because it's like a mini-military, but for kids, but you can't get harrassed at the shower nor kicked, so they can only dampen your spirits with bad food. -Goddess Din

Stupid University entrance exams. XD Studying for it was a pain, registering was terrible, finding where to take the exams was awful and everything and everyone is stupid. -Goddess Din

If I move to Canada I'll never know that, I have never seen snow so the first time I see it I will probably die of frostbite before I begin hating it. :teehee: I'll throw snowballs at myself. -Goddess Din

I can also speedrun!!! I forgot to stomp on the first Goomba in Super Mario Bros and the bastard killed me. Quickest SMB death ever. -Goddess Din

I've never liked jell-o, it looks like some evil slime... Disgusting.
Me: Oh, what a tasty-looking dessert. *eats*
Jell-o: HA! FOOL, NOW I LURK YOUR THROAT.
-Goddess Din

Don't do roms kids. They rape your house and burn your dog. -Goddess Din

I hate midis, ever since the Ice Cream truck from hell. -Goddess Din

I WIN!! I also understand. :teehee: Bwahahaha, knowledge is on my side and it says that all of you smell. -Goddess Din

And [the metric system] owns your little ass. The rest of the world is too good for inches, in fact, we would cut our thumbs just to prove how silly your system is. But thumbs are useful. -Goddess Din

You bum. Learn to live without smilies, as real men do, they never show their emotions. -Goddess Din

Don't worry Roghan, you and I shall be the first people to shout messages to each other across countries. We'll manage. -Goddess Din

Let's hit the mall! There's this new lipstick that would look soooo good on you, you are a BIG LOSER with capital "L" if you don't have it. -Goddess Din

GD is always right. :grumpy: I'm sort of like Chuck Norris, I am always cooly right, and when you least expect it, WHAM, a fish-slap to the face. -Goddess Din

I've had to chase many birds off my garden, as I my cats love playing there. :hi: And the idiotic bastards never learn...my neighbors must think I am crazy, since I often have to bang the windows like mad and scream, at least humming birds are too fast for them. -Goddess Din

Today I put 4 lollipops at once in my mouth, and they got stuck. And now my classmates think I am more weird. -Goddess Din

Though I once mistook an umbrella with a puppy. X_x Pretty embarrassing, I was squealing over a puppy that no one else could see. -Goddess Din

That's because you are a snail, take your shell off one of these days and speed things out. -Goddess Din

I don't like them too much, they are too sweet and I don't like the idea of licking something that is full with my saliva, so I always chew the lollipops. -Goddess Din

Mmmh, porridge...I don't like it. Looks like it has been already eaten, then barfed. -Goddess Din

Happy New Years everyone!! I chocked on some grapes during the countdown, what a stupid way to greet the New Year. XD -Goddess Din

We are so wrong that it can only be right. -Goddess Din

Escape from them [Texans], Sikaru, and return to us, Mexicans!!!! We be thine siblings, ye shalt hath never-ending tacos....FOREVER!!! -Goddess Din

Milk sucks! Got beer? -Goddess Din

I didn't go to school today!! I skipped classes today! I AM TEH COOLNESS. *is Saturday* -Goddess Din

They always say that admins and parents love all their children alike, but noooo, they lie!!! -Goddess Din

Hard to know, even though Ruto is an ugly naked fish, she has attitude, she knows what she wants and goes for it, also is kind of hilarious how she demands being carried around. -Goddess Din

No Knil, you get eventually my respect, AND COOKIES! That come with POWER!!! And even yet....CHOCOLATE CHIPS!!! >:O ...WITH POWER!!! -Goddess Din

Blame it to the Tequila. One tequila, two tequilas, three tequilas....FLOOR! *falls* -Goddess Din

We don't have a life? So are we a bunch of corpses now tied to their computers? :ph34r: Oh em Gee....let's see who rots faster. :teehee: -Goddess Din

All I know is that you know nothing. -Goddess Din

*spits* Weeeh!!! *lands on her face* Oh crap. -Goddess Din

....I just realized your name is Yoshokima and not Yokoshima. -Goddess Din

I like the TV loud, the beer cold and my avatars normal-sized. -Goddess Din

You can always throw a rock at them and automatically win without looking dumb. -Goddess Din

You should wash your mouth with soup. -Goddess Din

Your socks don't give your toes the individuality they need. -Goddess Din

Mike, command your smelly companions to achieve my evil purposes!! -Goddess Din

Mexicans sit in dirty corners drinking tequila all day long looking for gringos to steal. -Goddess Din

Avril Lavrigne looks like she splats her face with a mascara spatula every day. -Goddess Din


Groucho

Where is Morpha's butt anyway? It's just a giant pink meatball. <.< -Groucho ZC, You're on my "to do" list. -Groucho Alright, no more secs for you. =P -Groucho
houseofblackleaves

We must lure him back with a trail of shotgun shells covered in pink icing leading up to a giant fruitcake launching phazon beam. -Hobble

If I didn't like the weather, I'd start screaming profanities at the sky at the top of my lungs while strapping an angry prarie dog to a lizard to keep the choir of veiled nuns from Malice Mizer's Bara ni irodorareta akui to higeki no makuake from setting it on fire. WTF HIP FETISH. -Hobble

Aw, it's so cuuute. Like a banana that just got chopped in half and eaten... and then regurgitated as some sort of cute little snake-person-thingy without gravy and box springs. -Hobble

.... we're going to need a towel..... to clean up all the party that just crashed all over the wall. Why can't any of you little party haters just let the damn party hit you?!?!? -Hobble, after finding out Niroht dodged the party thrown at him. -Hobble

Well then, I have a little riddle for you. If y = x and x = y then how many cups of sugar does it take to get to the moon? Purple, because ice cream has no bones. -Hobble

People are sometimes like slinkies... Not really good for anything, but it brings a smile to your face when you push them down a long flight of stairs. -Hobble


Kao

If you don't exist on Facebook, there's a considerable chance that you don't exist in real life. -Kao

Zombone: When you're here on ZP, you're never alone. Unless it's like.. 3 in the morning.. and the European crowd isn't on yet. But even then, you have like.. 30 search engine spiders to keep you company. -Kao

I'd make more females mods, but then we'd get a whole bunch of locked topics and banned members every month. -Kao

Stop throwing around the fact that Texas gets hot weather like it makes you cool or something. Because it doesn't. In fact, it makes you warm, the opposite of cool. You are anti-cool. All of Texas is the antithesis of cool. -Kao

A likely story! But have you ever considered what that jelly filling is made out of? Hm? Babies. Pure and simple, that's all there is to it. -Kao

Woo! Happy birthday to youuuuu. Today is a day on which you should wear no pants. It's the only way your birthday wishes will come true. -Kao

Fucking boy's locker room. It was a shit hole. Smelled like ass and axe, two things that do not mix, but are mixed far too often. -Kao

I don't go to ZP's outside anymore. *flashback to Kao being attacked by owls outside* -Kao

pink, if we listened to Google Fight, then "gay hobbit sex" would win over "pandas on parade" And we both know that's ridiculous. -Kao


Kaden

Evan, why is it that everything you post sounds like a soap opera? -Kaden

I'm sorry, but there's really no nice way to say it. You have posted a steaming pile of poo. -Kaden

TK, if you back out on me, I'm going to be very upset with you. First, I'll sob hysterically and accuse you... something like this: TK HOW COULD YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU..........?!?!? Then, I'll yell at you [still accusingly] in a fit of radioactive rage... something like this: TK HOW COULD YOU BETRAY MY TRUST LIKE THIS YOU BIG FAT TEXAN JERK!!!! YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT, I PULLED OUT THE OL' "YOU'RE FROM TEXAS" THING!!! I WOULDN'T DO THAT UNLESS I WAS REALLY, SERIOUSLY, COMPLETELY UPSET WITH YOU!! See? Lots of upsetness. And caps lock. Lots and lots of caps lock. -Kaden

Hey, I just noticed... this topic is only labeled "Q&A". Couldn't "Q" and "A" stand for something different? Like "qwackulators" and "apples"? -Kaden

(Kaden's interpretation about how a conversation would go if the OoTC met IRL:)
Kaden: "^^ It's so great to finally get to meet all of you!"
IK: "Kaden looks difernt in real lif."
TK: "Can't you even SPEAK with proper grammar?! 'Different'! 'Life'! Try a dictionary sometime!"
Sikaru: "What's a dictionary? O.o"
Niroht: "It's a collection of words and definitions."
ZC: "I'm hungry! Let's eat cake!"
GD: "Mexican cake is the best!"
Mike: "No, it has to be Canadian!"
Groucho: "Can it have a catgirl on it?" - Kaden

The OoT Forum ROCKS! We kick GC's butt clear across the main board! XD Ever wondered why it's way up on the list, and we're down here? WE KICKED IT UP THERE! -Kaden

Am I? Am I wrong? Or am I so right that it blows your mind?! -Kaden

Yeah, listen to Kaden. =[ She's not really as stupid as she looks. Plus, she has an undying rage that will crash upon you like a thousand tsunami waves upon a beach. :teehee: I'd watch out if I were you. BENEATH THIS SWEET EXTERIOR IS A CRAZY, VENGEFUL GIRL ON THE EDGE! >=( *roars angrily* Tee, hee! ^.^ -Kaden

:shift: I know that yes is "si" [in Spanish], but what's "no"? -Kaden

There's a little bit of insanity in all of us. There's just a higher concentration in me. -Kaden

Misty, from Pokemon! Her ponytail is sticking out straight off the side of her head! How does she do it? O_o;; -Kaden


Keropium

Or will the dreaded broom prevail? Stay tuned until next week to find out! -Kero

...The floor did it! -Kero

I watched a lot of shark documentaries a while ago. I hate the ocean now. -Kero

Everyone was disappointed [with Nintendo at E3 '05]. Then they came back and slapped everyone in the face with a unicorn. =[ -Kero

I don't like people who bitch about being fat and don't do anything about it. I can understand if you're naturally big, but some people are whoamg too many Doritos. -Kero

That's why I refuse to take woodshop. I mess around too much. Somebody would lose a nose. -Kero, after telling him about a kid who cut off four of his fingers in woodshop class. -Kero

Lollipops suck. Haha, get it? Hah. ...Hah. -Kero

Homework is for people with a future. -Kero

Just because it's not in the rules doesn't mean it's cheating, it just means that the guys who wrote the rules forgot about that! -Kero

I'm gonna sleep like a Chevy tonight. -Kero


kpak

It's like watching a chipmunk stuff its face with whatever the heck it likes to eat: you don't know how they manage it. It's amazing, it's weird, and at the same time, highly entertaining. -kpak


Largo

I didn't win anything. They didn't appreciate my communist decapitating skills as much as I thought they would. -Largo

I can't give blood. I was born in Germany/am German. I can't give superior blood. Might hurt people. -Largo

I was sleeping and I was pissed. Pissed off because I had to wait to fall asleep. It perpetuated when my cellphone went off downstairs by the beeping of a new text that asked me if I remembered the free slurpee day. Argh that pissed me off. 7.11 oz is not enough for a slurpee. You need like motherfucking 32 or more oz of slurpee to suffice. -Largo

Goddess Din is the Goron. It's easy to see. Goron's are muscular and they eat rocks. -Largo

Back in the day, we played Counter-Strike with real guns. -Largo

THIS IS POCKY, IT IS MY PET, IT IS SAD FOR IT HAS NOT BEEN EATEN YET. -Largo

300 is epic, new favorite, I want to watch it again, going to call Bryant for plan to watch again. So EPIC. The movie eats epic, breathes epic, sees epic, and shits epic! That's how epic that movie is. It's hard for me to describe all the epicness of that movie in other words, but it is not just your ordinary epic, its an epic of epic proportions. -Largo

Kana is superior. [She can make] the best kinds [of sandwiches]. When you eat one you will shit bricks. Figuratively, not literally...if you know what I mean. You'll be like, "Oh, my goodness, this sandwich is so amazing that I just shat bricks." -Largo


Legend of Shadow

When I was little (I found out really early how babies are made, just not which hole) I always thought that you poo out babies. Cause it seemed as the only logical hole, since you know, big chunks come out of there anyway. -Legend of Shadow

Half an hour? The [blow driers] around here take less than 10 seconds to fully dry your hands. Along with the amusing image of your skin making little waves as it blows, seriously, it blows so hard I can see all the bones on my palm. It tickles my DNA. -Legend of Shadow

The only true reason for marriage should be comedy. Otherwise, it's worthless. -Legend of Shadow

[It takes me] 3 minutes...[to do my hair.] My hair is hell to force into accepting the laws of gravity. -Legend of Shadow


Lel

FEAR - Fuck Everything And Run. -Lel

So being smart is evil now? Well then, you must be the most good person in the world, DMC :) -Lel

And of course...I appear. -Lel

You think no one cares that you live? Try not paying your rent. -Lel


LIN7_swordmaster
I'm not sure why it happens to me, but old men tend to hit on me; a lot. I just ignore it since most of the time they end up asking if I'm into S&M (I think that's the correct term…). When it gets to that point I say I'm a lesbian or I have some sort of STD, I know it's wrong to say that but whatever gets them away from me. I do usually say I'm 15 first though… - LIN7_swordmaster


Linko_16

Rap music videos are hilarious. It's nothing but the rapper trying to prove how rich and popular he is by showing everyone partying at his house/club/limo while he throws booze and money around, molesting as many women as he can. -Linko 16

Dude, a jedi girlfriend would be awesome. She could pleasure you without actually touching you at all. -Linko 16

That's so incredibly old that I think a prophet in the times of the Ancient Greeks actually looked into the future and foresaw the internet before writing that poem. Still good for a laugh, though. -Linko 16

IT'S JUST THE MAN TRYIN' TO KEEP THEM FROM SPREADIN' THE TRUTH. FIGHT THE POWER. Yeah, I'm not really sure what that was supposed to mean. Shut up. -Linko_16

That's so sweet I think it gave me diabetes. -Linko16

Shakespeare is boring in school because everyone's like "lol lets assign teachers who only know as much as any idiot who just read through it themselves, and then maybe we can get the kids to read through it themselves too and they'll be educated! I'm such a genius, I'll take the rest of the day off and go play golf!" srsly. -Linko 16

Metal is pretty stupid. Ever try to give Lead an IQ test? It tends to do pretty terrible. -Linko 16

PotC: Not bad at all.
PotC marketing, fan base, franchises, et cetera: The anti-christ. -Linko_16

We got to take our final in Government right in the beginning just for kicks, but he warned us against filling in "ABBA CADABBA" all the way down. -Linko 16

YOU GUYS POST WAY TOO @#$%ING FAST. TAKE A CHILL PILL ALREADY. EDIT - JESUS CHRIST, TWO POSTS WERE MADE IN THE TIME IT TOOK ME TO TYPE THAT. GAAAAAAAAAAH. -Linko

You can steal my helmet if you really want to...But if you look at the glory of my naked head, your mind will be filled with the knowledge of all that is good in the world. Right before your eyes bleed out of their sockets, your heart explodes, your face melts away and your soul is jettisoned from your body in excruciating agony...I got a lot of lawsuits before I started wear it. -Linko

I'm pretty good at sitting around the house, but it seems that isn't a profession. -Linko, when asked what he wanted to be when he grew up

You make me sad. All of you. I hope gay people break into your houses and eat your brains. Not that they do that, y'know, but I hope they decide to just for you guys. -Linko_16

Sounds like me. I like the outside, I like some noise once in a while, I like to get out with friends... But in small doses. ;) -Linko_16


Lord Evan

Alright, look man, I am going to have to start digging up the ocean floor if you want me to find a way to lower my value of your opinions. -Lord Evan

I remember talking to a friend of mine and I mentioned sarcastically that it was a good idea to see Transformers 2, and then he told me he heard it was pretty good, and I really had to sit there and wonder why someone would lie to him like that. -Lord Evan

I don't use twitter because I am not so vain that the entire world needs to know when I order a pizza, or do the dishes, or go to the store. I am a human being who still understands the value of privacy. -Lord Evan

There's one review out. And it's a 3.9. I feel kind of sorry for people who still hold out hope for new Sonic Games. Its like, they keep treating you like shit, keep dumping crap on you, taking your money from you, and you keep dealing with it because at the beginning things were so wonderful and fun and they felt like they would go on forever, and you want that back, you want them to give you that back, but they keep mistreating you and... Wait a second, are we talking about the Sonic games or my love life? -Lord Evan

I'm an astoundingly arrogant person online. I insult pretty much everyone and expect reverence in return, I sexually harass women whether they like it or not, and I keep a generally low opinion of everyone I interact with. However I am not so arrogant as to believe that anyone gives a shit what I'm doing at any particular time. If its something thats actually significant I will probably mention it, but odds are I'm just sitting at home doing jack shit. Or going to work and doing jack shit. I'm arrogant, not retarded. The only potential use I can see is to use it as a masturbation log, so that I can confuse and disturb my friends and family. -Lord Evan

And it should be under the fucking ZP rules that you can not out-bitter me. Really, you can post on and on about how miserable you are, but I will go out of my way to show that I am even more vain and self-serving than you could ever hope to achieve. I am the pinnacle of arrogant neurosis, a veritable force of manic-depressive nature. And I simply will not tolerate your blind gropings in that kiddy pool of loneliness you dare call an abyss. -Lord Evan

That statement is like a beautiful woman in bed, I just dont know where to start. -Lord Evan

All twins should fight at the age of 10 for who has the right to live. I mean, my parents made me do it and I turned fine... -Lord Evan

I HAVE GOT IT! ZP needs its own unique ad games! Out-drink Symuun and win a free iPhone! Arm wrestle GD and win an X-box 360!! Post more insults than Evan and win a Wii! *hint* You can't win any of them *hint* -Lord Evan

Oh, and Windmill, you didn't need to post pics. I think I could tell them plenty about your flexibility ^_- -Lord Evan

Windmill, I want you to marry me so we can go off into the country and have a lot of Lord Windmills together.... -Lord Evan

Oh, I'm sorry, I meant no personal offense, I have made a living out of thinking I'm better than everyone else. -Lord Evan

It is a genuine wonder you people manage to breathe without me. -Lord Evan

Just reading this topic was the spelling equivalent of being kicked in the balls with the sharp side of a high heel. Not that I know how that feels. -Lord Evan

No....No, I don't have milk, that's why my body is so chock full of nerd fragility. -Lord Evan

To be fair, [nails] don't actually do much, except trap things under them and make you look like a madman if you grow them long and they curl and you threaten people with them. Not that I would know... -Lord Evan

"Bringing Sexy Back." This song is bizzare because I don't recall sexy going anywhere. Why did sexy leave? For how long? Where did it go that period of time? Does sexy just not want us anymore? Or is it all a government conspiracy? I WANT ANSWERS. -Lord Evan

You gotta be gentle...gotta speak from the heart....Gotta....pour the words from your soul and into a cup...and put that cup next to the keyboard, then pour it onto the keyboard....congratulations, now you can't post anymore. I am so high right now.... -Lord Evan

I remember that time I kept trying to call a friend but I kept getting a 'please hang up and dial again' thing. Then I realized I was dialing my Social Security number. -Lord Evan

XD I can't blame people for not doing things on the internet because apparently people have these....'life' things. -Lord Evan

Pftt, thats nothing Ben...I got a nice ass, you cant even call it a bum because its not a strong enough word, you could seriously fry bacon on it. -Lord Evan

Back on topic: I KNOW EVERYTHING!!!!! -Lord Evan

Remember kids, you can kill as many people as you want as long as you kiss the babies and smile. -Lord Evan


Maj2004

They [3.5" floppy disks] were okay until people started to COPY THAT FLOPPY. -Maj2004


Majoraslayer

You know, just because you're starting HIGH school doesn't mean you have to do all of your homework on marijuana paper. -Majoraslayer

This election is just as bad as all the rest; both candidates suck. So I request that you all write in your vote for someone else. This someone else, of course, would be Captain Planet. That bitch always knows shit about global warming, and taking care of your animals, and loving your sister in completely legal ways, and what to do if your teacher touches you in places that make you feel uncomfortable. Besides that, all of his supporters get to wear magic rings. So please, everyone cast your vote this election day for Captain Planet. We can make the White House a Green House; the power is yours! -Majoraslayer

Welcome to ZP, Gatsby! The restroom is right down the hall and to the left, and if you need wimmenz.....so do we, so let us know if you find any. -Majoraslayer

The more guys take my advice, the more women that will be on the market and available to me. -Majoraslayer

.....so basically the Air Force is so named because they....breathe air? -MajoraSlayer

Metal and Christian....thats a hell of a mix. BELIEVE IN THE FUCKING POWER AND PURITY OF CHRIST YOU MOTHERFUCKING ASSHOLE OR I'LL PUNCH YOU IN THE TESTICLATS AND RIP OUT YOUR GUTS JUST TO SAVE A DOLLAR ON MY *****S. GO JESUS. ...yeah, thats how I envisioned it anyway. -Majoraslayer

Fahrenheit, not Celsius. American temperatures are different from European temperatures because we have less fog. -Majoraslayer

I have my own imaginary version of MySpace, and I've only accumulated 3 imaginary friends. -Majoraslayer

If leaving Facebook or MySpace means you're going to lose contact with a friend forever, it means that the person is most likely not your friend to begin with. -Majoraslayer

MaLink's post just made me squee harder than anyone ever to grace the boards of ZeldaPower. It was almost as awesome as an all-star lesbian orgy porno, a full jar of peanut butter, and a suitcase full of free money. Note, however, I did say ALMOST. -Majoraslayer

"Powered by human blood or sweat." It sounds like emos can listen to My Chemical Romance indefinitely on their MP3 players. -Majoraslayer

I think laundromats should be more inviting for nude customers. This way they are more likely to have all of their clothes clean at once, and since mostly women do the washing as God intended, it would be a sight to see indeed. -Majoraslayer

XBox Live achievements are like trophies you can display to show all your friends how much sex you're not getting. -Majoraslayer

Everyone keeps telling me not to ride the clutch because it will burn it up. How the hell do I ride the clutch? I thought I was just riding the Jeep. -Majoraslayer

Isn't getting a free meal at McDonald's like going to a boxing match and getting a free punch in the stomach? In the end, you eventually get the same effect. -Majoraslayer

[Hell] is a lot like Disney World, except the lines are infinitely longer, the sun is several times hotter, and the walking never ends. -Majoraslayer

Peanut butter. Nothing else required but a spoon and a glass of milk. Pure heaven. It brings a new meaning to oral in the sexual context, as you'll then feel that oral sex is truly putting creamy peanut butter in your mouth. -Majoraslayer

Since men aren't needed in this world, why don't we all kill ourselves and leave it to the women? Then when women no longer have men to bitch about, the nations of the world will become preoccupied by monthly nuclear wars over which country is prettier. Our entire species will become extinct. Some women may even starve to death because there would be no men around to open jars for them. -Majoraslayer

I once had an out-of-body experience in which I ate the flesh of another human being and drank her blood. Afterwards I danced naked on the Sears tower under the idea that I AM a tractor. Please accept me as a normal person. Society will just have to learn to accept that some of us are tractors capable of eating humans while we leave our bodies behind... -Majoraslayer

What is it with people anymore? Is EVERYONE gay now? I never seem to fit any trends. :( -Majoraslayer

PCs are more environmentally friendly. Windows has a recycle bin, whereas Mac OS only offers a trash can. -Majoraslayer

I dread the day when companies start buying advertising space in our text books. Imagine what a history book would be like? "During the reign of King [drink Pepsi because it makes your penis larger] Hrothgar, epics such as Beowulf [Got Milk?] were very popular." -Majoraslayer

Procrastination is like masturbation. It feels good while you do it, but in the end, you realize you've just screwed yourself. -Majoraslayer


MaLink

I hate vegetarians. :D I only eat them when I have to. -MaLink

Tokyo sounds so cool. I mean, just think of it. Tokyo. That word is awesome. -MaLink

upgraded viBrator? Holy moly, that was dirty. And yet I'm still posting it! -Malink

I disagree. The more people symuun takes out with a car, the less people on the planet....OMG. That was a joke but I still can't believe I said it. xDDDD -Malink

Hey all... I'm here to complain about the lack of Waffle Crisp in the world. If you don't know what that is, it was pretty much the best waffle cereal EVER MADE. Sometime last year or so, it disappeared off the shelves. I was devastated! Last month, Kelloggs puts out "EGGO CEREAL." It's the same popsicling thing, except the cereal is circular instead of squareish. I WANT MY WAFFLE CRISP BACK. (On a sidenote, the eggo cereal isn't bad... it's nice actually. I just wanted to complain about my lack of bona fide Waffle Crisp.) -MaLink

If he doesn't I'll win the freaking five billion lottery, buy tickets for everyone who wants to visit your ignoramous suitor and he'll have an entire forum of pink-loving crazy nerds to contend with. And tazers. And then I'll buy you a pony and a ferris wheel and a blow up boyfriend until I can buy you true love somewhere. -MaLink

ZP camp... sounds like something from WWII... :shift: -MaLink

I make free time instead of waiting for free time. -MaLink

You're so cheap you'd wait until condoms were available on clearance to have sex. -MaLink

And Mexicans eat tacos all day and ride flying burros. Us Americans on the other hand... you never know what we'll do. We might explode just for the hell of it. -MaLink

[Adventure of Link] is so hard, I died when the save screen loaded. -MaLink

OMGDOUG! I LOVE LOVE LOVE DOUG!...Until he started wearing pants, and then it was weird. =[ -MaLink

You lose brain cells reading chatspeak. It kills even more brain cells to type it. -MaLink

Girls only! Girl talk contains cooties-- and besides, I doubt very many of you guys want to hear me whine and moan over PMS....for I have major cramps right now. Ohhhhh, the blood! (lmao! XD I love saying that.) -MaLink

Love is the magic that binds us all together! That and duct tape. :D -Malink


maybeitllwork

Psh. Jack-assery is genetic in all forum users. -_maybeitllwork_

I've got [school] until June 16th. Meh. I'm going to celebrate on that day -- so hard, I won't be able to recall the first week of summer. Yeay. -maybeitllwork


Mike

on a scale of so much better to who gives a shit about iron maiden how much better was it than no prayer for the dying? -Mike

Rebel hamburgers started attacking our plates so I have to go dispose of them. -Mike

Well you could be like [when citing a postcard in a report] "This picture of a giraffe (see appendix 1) demonstrates how monkeys and mudkips worked together to grow bananas". -Mike

There's a walkthrough in my pants and you're invited! -Mike

I sank their Yellow Submarine, and then conquered their Strawberry Fields. Which I turned into my lawn. -Mike [on The Beatles]

The Niroht side would steal money from hospitals and old ladies. Evil I say! -Mike

Shakespeare sucks. I bet he wrote his plays and books in some incomprehensible language because he had no friends. -Mike

Then it's the most intelligent spam I've ever seen. -Mike

I wish I had a pony. :P -Mike

Speaking of obsessing over weird things, where's ZC? -Mike

When I got home from Europe the first thing I did was go to Tim Hortons and buy a sandwich and donuts. Had to do something Canadian. -Mike

Basically, MM is the best Zelda game. Also, if you put "o" between "mm" you get "mom," and mom is the nicest person you'll ever know! -Mike

They don't [have class ranks] here. Obviously, because I would be first every time, so they don't want anyone's feelings to get hurt. -Mike

The basketball players are just like soccer players. They get nudged and they go flying. -Mike

The world needs to upgrade its brain to keep up with me. -Mike

WHY ISN'T THERE ANYTHING TO DO. Other than nothing. -Mike

If you do not get drunk when you're at college, they kick you out. -Mike

I wouldn't go see that movie even if you paid me. Unless it was A LOT of money... -Mike

People are going to flame you so bad you'll get 3rd degree burns. -Mike

Too bad Nutrigrains have wrappers and you have to get up and throw them in the garbage. -Mike

Zaketo is wrong, the Cold War was a war that was fought in the winter. Everybody lost except Canadians who were playing hockey, eating steak, and drinking eggnog. The only thing winter is good for. -Mike

My computer is better than the family computer for two reasons: #1 It's mine so it has to be better. #2 The family comp has MSN 6.1 and mine has 6.2. -Mike

No way, black and white = emo. So pretty much the world was emo until they got colour pictures. -Mike

I'm srsly going to open my window and scream about how much my internet sucks. -Mike

Aw, [the trip to Washington] would probably be boring anyways. XD What's in Washington? Bush. =[ -Mike

I have always wondered why roses were red and violets were blue--shouldn't [the latter] be violet? -Mike

ZOMG I don't beliebe this. >:o I don't believe it, either. -Mike

You know ZP: change something, everyone cries about how it sucks; do nothing, everyone cries about how the mods and admins hate change. -Mike

I'm not [bored]....yet. Give me five minutes. There's nothing to do on the internet anymore. -Mike

Darn new server. You were the chosen one! You were supposed to fix ZP, not wreck it! -Mike [S]

Is tomorrow SaturdaY...with a capital Y? -Mike

There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want. -Mike

OMG WTF! dany's eyes turned into = [equal] signs. Don't let the math get to your head. ;D -Mike

Boredom is a tricky fiend. -Mike [S]

You know it's summer when you have nothing to do. -Mike [S]

Stupid world, always out to get me. –Mike

I was good at school and hyper at home... Actually, I might as well have slept; it's like the screensaver or hibernation mode on the computer: awake, but not energetic. -Mike

I forget what I was gonna say, but who cares, I have a cookie. -Mike

No, [Mpnday] only occurs once every multicoloured moon...which doesn't happen that much. =] –Mike

Scratch it; scratch it good. -Mike [S], when I told him my finger was itchy.

I mean really anti-social. Like. So anti-social your skin is pale and you shun everyone. -Mike

3 looks like a butt. XD That's how I remember 33 on the periodic table: element 33 is arsonic. –Mike

I'm hungry and lazy. Those two don't mix. –Mike

I was asking my bro to get me somewhere in Metroid Prime but he was watching Yu-Gi-Oh. The guy with the funny hair is all, "Oh no, Joey lost the duel, his soul belongs to so and so now." I was like WTF and I pwned the TV like no tomorrow. –Mike

Niroht has a secret crush on being dumb. –Mike

Why did the chicken cross the road? Why did it cross the road, [I mean], why not a toad or a rabbit? And why a road? I tell you...I've never seen a chicken cross the road. –Mike

Yu-Gi-Oh. His hair is so big soon he won't be able to get through his front door –Mike

Dumb Mike. He lets out a fly and three more fly in. –Mike

I hate chess. The only thing I know is that the knight can move in an L path because he's a loser. –Mike

Wow, these [AOL smilies] suck. Any old fart could make them...no offense to the old farts. –Mike

[She can send three nudges] because she cheatts; not to be confused with cheats. –Mike

Laughing your ass off is fun...especially when you get to the part where you can barely breathe. Priceless moments. –Mike

After a lot of thinking (and exploding) I found out that food is not our friend... Why? Because we eat it. –Mike


Muffin Mage

No, see, Transformers had no redeeming qualities whatsoever. It is both everything wrong with the American movie industry and the highest-grossing movie in the world, thus continuing to show everything that is wrong with America in general. -Muffin Mage

Fuck Twitter. I'll masturbate in my room where no one will see me or feel obliged to pretend to care. -Muffin Mage

I'd rather have Jackson Pollock's honesty than some dipshit in a beret saying his painting represents the breakdown of meaning in the postmodern world or some other bullshit. -Muffin Mage

Give Obama a week and everyone will have a flying car that runs on water and hope. -Muffin Mage

It's a question and answer thing in the same way that invading Russia in the winter is good military strategy. -Muffin Mage

My uncertain eating schedule and ten minute walk to and from school multiple times a day keeps me from ballooning to epic proportions. -Muffin Mage

Homophones are not things with which gay people call each other. -Muffin Mage

Who would I turn gay for? Nobody. I'm already getting nothing being straight. Twice the pool of applicants means twice the rejection. -MuffinMage

Shit happens. It doesn't matter what that shit happens to be. What matters is how you choose to deal with it. Saying it's God's fault is a cheap cop-out, perfect for every occasion from the Holocaust right on down to stubbing your toe (although in reality, it's all George Bush's fault.). -MuffinMage

Well, I practice safe sax... And don't you dare judge me! My saxuality is a lifestyle choice! -Muffin Mage

Why should you have to join a group to do good deeds? Why should you only have to do one, and why only on Friday? If you genuinely believe that people are good, then they shouldn't need any arbitrary rules about their "good deeds;" they should happen without any urging. Why do good deeds need any recognition at all? If people truly are naturally good, they shouldn't need recognition or rewards for being good. Being good is its own reward. -MuffinMage

Almost, except not at all. -MuffinMage

I don't believe in monitors. I have a program that shouts out the locations and colors of all the pixels on the screen every second and from that I can determine what it's showing. Either that, or it's a 20 inch widescreen. -MuffinMage

Using IE for anything is like going into an aerospace engineering exam with a four function calculator. You could, but you would be stupid. -Muffin Mage

[Breasts] are the second cause of all of humanity's problems. The first, of course, is stupidity. -MuffinMage


Niroht

You know, we used to superficially like each other here. Then people started actually forming bonds and realizing that, no, we all hated each other and were just pretending to like each other. And now we're the big happy dysfunctional miserable family we are today. Give ZU a couple years and they'll have their own little Evan. -Niroht

I play all of my games repeatedly. I literally grind them into the ground, then wait for their molecules to reconstitute and do it again. -Niroht

ZC's native tongue apparently involves swearing in every sentence. -Niroht

Is flarby a poser? -Niroht

McDonald's does not serve food. They serve used tissues reconstituted into something that resembles a burger. -Niroht

*Drops it like it's hot* -Niroht

Ummmmmm......what? Like, what? That made -40 sense. -Niroht

Lots of quotes happen, Sikaru. You just don't see them- quick over there it's a quote! Oh, it got away. -Niroht

Though by comparison Mike's a genius. The other day my roommate decided it was too hot so he'd set the thermostat to the comfortably cool temperature of.....100 degrees farenheit. -Niroht

I never claimed to be nice, I just claimed to not be totally mean. -Niroht

I can tell you what to do! You just don't have to listen. -Niroht

Being funny by accident isn't necessarily a good thing. You could have mental tacos. -Niroht

I'm annoyed by those who use [makeup]. Especially those who use it a lot, you know, the "Oh, I broke a nail" type. The type that's ALWAYS putting makeup on, even though they already have it. They deserve to be sent to Mercury. -Niroht


Pinflan Jinglewit

It used to be that being fat was attractive. It meant you could afford to sit around all day and eat all the food you could want. It meant that you were powerful. -Pinflan Jinglewit

My friends got a xanga, and I got one. They got a Myspace, and I got one. They got a facebook, and I got one. Not again. The line must be drawn HERE! NO FURTHER! I will not go on Twitter. -Pinflan Jinglewit

Are you kidding me? Z's are a blast to draw! Two complete turnarounds with one letter. It's like a roller coaster on a sheet of paper. -Pinflan Jinglewit

I don't really like socialism. I like my governments the same way I like my dragons: small. -Pinflan Jinglewit

I like meat. I don't see anything wrong with eating it. If it weren't for eating meat we wouldn't be the dominant species on this planet. We've got to keep on showing those animals who's boss somehow. -Pinflan Jinglewit

I just want a job where I don't have to talk or look at anybody I don't want to. A job that'll give me time to think. A job where I can sit down. Is that too much to ask? -Pinflan Jinglewit

[Mexicans don't call us Estados] because then they'd be calling us states, and I am not a state. Your mamma might be, though. Oh no he didn't. -Pinflan Jinglewit

Women can't play football. Well, they can, but I wouldn't recommend it. -Pinflan Jinglewit

I've never been told that I don't have a life, but I've been told that I never do anything, which is true. But that's just because I have nothing to do. -Pinflan Jinglewit

Eat, people. The world is a delicious place. -Pinflan Jinglewit


pink

Inflation will shoot the price up by Christmas. Don't get too comfortable with this price drop. It's like a bad rash that went away but them comes back just to spite you in the end when you really want to wear that bikini. -pink

Kana is so pretty and delicate until she opens her mouth to sing and then you're like, "HOLY SHIT! That's intense." -pink

Seriously, everyone needs to go out and buy Planet Spa's Japanese Green Tea and Rice body lotion. IT IS THE BEST SMELL THAT HAS EVER ENTERED MY NOSE. One day I want my house to smell like it. You have no idea. It doesn't smell perfumey... one, cause I'm allergic to perfume. It smells DELICTABLE. DELICIOUS. DEVOURABLE. -pink

I just had all four wisdom teeth out. HOLY MOTHERFUCKING GOD. They gave me so many drugs including this morphine-ish drug that made me high as a kite. -pink

I win at life. -pink

AIM Triton sucks monkey balls and lags my entire computer until eternity. -pink

Reese's peanutbutter cups are my favourite thing in the world. I inhale them. -pink

I know it's selfish, but I want my exboyfriends to be miserable. I sometimes feel that I'm allowed to move on but they have to shove it and end their love life. -pink

It's a party in my pants and you're not invited. -pink

Biii! ...Bi? WTF? *Nooooo, I meant *Noooo. -pink

In your opinion. This is an opinion topic. MY opinion is that your opinion is wrong. So suck it. :teehee: -pink

I blame [George Bush] for the fact that we have no Dr. Pepper left in the house.

Poe the Great

What are you thinking? You can't settle disputes on ZP in an adult way. Mind you, with adult way I do not mean R-rated way. Because there's plenty of people who'd do it like that. -Poe the Great

Oh, please. [Yoda]'s old and wrinkly, and he knows less about grammar than Iron Man does. And even then he pretends to be old and walks with that stick while he's able to jump around at dazzling speeds. -Poe the Great

Please, Google something for -your- pleasure? You don't have a Google-related disability, do you? -Poe the Great

Anyway, the only good thing I can really say about -every- member here is that I don't want you to die. And I -suppose- that you all manage to make my life somewhat less dreary by being an amusing sense of stupidity every now and then. -Poe the Great

Teej: If people don't like you for who you are, they probably have a good reason to. So let them hate you and go to someone else. Don't go and change who you are just because someone doesn't like you. That doesn't work. Basically, if someone doesn't like you, screw them. Hell, I know there's zillions of people that can't stand the sight of me. I don't care. -Poe the Great

YOUR PUNY [SD] TAGS CANNOT DEFEAT THE OOT COMMUNITY'S SPAM FORCE! NEVER!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! *vanishes in a puff of smoke* -Poe the Great

If you censor fanboy, I'm just going to call everyone flanboy. Simple. -Poe the Great


PrincessCordelia

I laugh at this site's pitifulness. It makes me want to hurt them, like how you stab a potato before putting it in the microwave. -PrincessCordelia


Priestess of Farore

Linko probably couldn't handle the shame and allowed Ezhno to reabsorb him, as he had previously attempted to do in the womb. -Priestess of Farore

With machine laundry you basically pour a few different kinds of liquid soaps into various holes, turn a dial to some esoteric magical number, and press go. -Priestess of Farore

Okay, I really, really need to know if the proper spelling is drier or dryer, and whether this is a regional thing. Otherwise I am going to stab the next person I see. -Priestess of Farore

Musicians are always banging on about 'breaking up' and 'never touring again' and 'developing cancerous tumours,' and it's only true half the time. -Priestess of Farore

A spider just jumped into my coffee. And I wasn't even half done. What an asshole. Oh, and now he's trying to climb out. Like he thinks I wouldn't notice. YOU WILL DROWN IN MY WASTED COFFEE YOU SLIMY BITCH. -Priestess of Farore

And while a serious chest dent would suck (ohoho), I really meant the minor kind of thing that some really skinny dudes have where their sternum goes really far in at the bottom and there's just a little hollow there where you could eat chips and fucking salsa out of. Shit's gross. -Priestess of Farore

Sometimes I turn it on and Pokémon is on. And then there are random, not-Misty girls on, and Ash is voiced by a female, and it's all terrible, terrible confusion. -Priestess of Farore

Yeah, getting haircuts is an unreasonably stressful experience. Finding a hair person is difficult, getting them to do what you want and not be terrible is annoying, 'breaking up' with them when you're not satisfied is awkward and uncomfortable, and it's all really fucking expensive, too. It's like having an annoying, expensive girlfriend that may or may not even get you laid. -Priestess of Farore

Pale is the new tan, thanks to Twilight. -Priestess of Farore

I know I should eat yoghurt because it's apparently awesomely good for you, but I hate so many things about it. I hate the texture, I hate the way it sticks in your mouth and throat, I hate the smell, I hate the kind of commercials for it in that video I just posted, I even hate the word so much that I use the weird British spelling because it looks even grosser. Fuck yoghurt. -Priestess of Farore

I never understood that whole 'bring a newspaper/book/portable gaming device to the toilet' thing. When I go to poop, I like to concentrate on pooping. -Priestess of Farore

Most science is fucking weird if you think about it too much. In fact, that's really how science starts: thinking about weird shit too much. -Priestess of Farore

I hadn't read Adolf Hitler's Wikipedia article before. I think he may have more subarticles than anyone else documented on Wikipedia. There is just way too much information here. Like, does there need to be an entire article on Hitler's sexuality and all the weird fetishes he may or may not have had? Is it historically vital for me to know that Hitler may have had only one ball? Have I learned anything of significance in the forty-five minutes I have wasted on this so far? -Priestess of Farore

Also, I will never understand, as long as I live, the logic of 'making up for' things the older kids couldn't have with the younger kids. It's like, the older kids are still there, you know? They don't just sort of expire when the new ones are born and your life finally settles into comfort and functionality. -Priestess of Farore

I'm not pulling that old BUHH THE BOOK IS BETTER THAN THE MOVIE BECAUSE I AM A PRETENIOUS HYPERLITERATE BITCH. The movie is great and the book is great. It's just that everyone seems to forget about the book because OMG THEY MADE A MOVIE AND IT WAS ACTUALLY GOOD. -Priestess of Farore

I'll tell you what word I fucking hate. 'Normalcy.' I mean, my Anglophone brain just cries out at that -lcy ending. What the fuck kind of word ends in -lcy? In fact, I propose that 'normalcy' is the exact formal opposite of its semantic meaning, since no fucking word in the English language ends or should end in -lcy. The really sad thing is that there isn't really a common analogous noun, so I have to circumvent it by using goofy adjectival phrases instead. -Priestess of Farore

Okay, I really just need to point out that Poe keeps saying 'conjecture' when he means 'conjunction,' when in fact I think the proper word is 'compound.' I know conjunction does mean two things that are joined, but when I see it used to talk about other words I think of the kind of conjunction that is a word like 'and' or 'but.' Conjecture is simply a mostly baseless guess, like 'I conjecture that you are a homosexual.' Which you all are. Fags. -Priestess of Farore

Earwigs are a truly stupid kind of creature. What is the evolutionary advantage of having a huge pair of pincers on your butt? -Priestess of Farore

The only solution to this kind of predicament is to just get everyone drunk. You'll still be a bunch of idiots, but at least it'll be excusable. -Priestess of Farore

I usually get 4 or 5 a week. It's particularly upsetting as few people ever bother to actually call me except my mom and my boyfriend, so I'm like, 'oh, other people want to hear the sound of my v--oh. Who the fuck? -Priestess of Farore

OH GOD FUCKING MUTANT BABIES
This is another reason why I will never have children. Somehow, maybe because I smoke and drank too much early in life, or just because I have stupid genes, something will go horribly awry in the development process and I'll wind up with a mangled freak baby and scream and cry and have to throw it down a well, where it will haunt me for the rest of my life. -Priestess of Farore

IT IS NOW TIME FOR A PSA SPONSORED BY YOUR LOCAL GRAMMAR NAZI
Did you know that AIDS stands for Acquired Immune Deficiency (or sometimes immunodeficiency, depending on how much you like mashing big words together into even bigger words) Syndrome? Read that again. Acquired. Immune. Deficiency. Syndrome. There are four terms there. That generally means that, in an acronym, there would be four capital letters in a row. It's AIDS. Not AIDs. You do not get a number of Acquired Immune Deficiencies. You get Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome. AIDS. It's. fucking. A-I-D-S. At least 60% of people on the internet make this mistake, and I can't take it anymore. Et tu, Niroht? -Priestess of Farore

Also YAY KAO ON ALMOST HAVING LEARNED EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO KNOW IN ORDER TO MAKE PILES OF MONEY AND HAVE ALL YOUR WILDEST DREAMS COME TRUE. Oh wait... that doesn't happen right after you graduate at all. -Priestess of Farore

Hulk Hogan may not know best, but it doesn't matter because he can still fuck you up. -Priestess of Farore

Bra shopping is the worst thing about being female. It is worse than menstruating, being moody, having to shave your legs, standing in long lines for the bathroom, or (I'm just going to guess at this) childbirth. If there is a God, or more specifically the God of Genesis, chapter 2, I am pretty sure he was misquoted where it says he punished Eve by making childbirth painful. I think he said instead, 'I know I gave you those awesome bouncy things up front, but now I am going to make up for it by making it impossible for you and all your progeny to find a device that fits and supports them properly.' -Priestess of Farore

Assembling complicated furniture with your mother IS NOT RECOMMENDED. It's a wonderland of power struggles, criticism, impatience, needless organisation, sore muscles, and "Hmm.. I wonder why that doesn't fit" "I HAVE NO IDEA BUT CAN YOU FUCKING FIGURE IT OUT BECAUSE THIS THING I'M HOLDING IS FUCKING HEAVY" So unless all of that sounds fun to you, never agree to help your mom put a linen closet together. -Priestess of Farore

Well, just...remember [the algorithms]. Make a recording of them and put them on loop while you sleep. I've heard that helps. Or gives you brain cancer. One of the two. -Priestess of Farore

FUN FACT: Global warming actually means 'global crazy shit happening with normal climates so that things go all out of wack for a while and then everything evens out and gets really hot'. -Priestess of Farore

I just opened up a new box of pads to... y'know... stem the flow. Anyway, as I was doing so, I notice that they now have like a wavy purple design around the edges. And my question is, WHY DOES A FEMININE SANITARY NAPKIN NEED A FUCKING DESIGN ON IT? I mean, this thing is never going to see the light of day. It is going to sit inside my underwear beneath my vagina. Things of unspeakable horror will drift onto it. Nobody is going to look at closely it ever again, let alone me. WHAT THE FUCK IS THE POINT? -Priestess of Farore

I'm getting a completely useless degree so that I can be paid a few more dollars per hour when I get a job. -Priestess of Farore

Sometimes I sit where people are without noticing and their heads go up my butt. -Priestess of Farore

Juicers are awesome. You can juice anything now. Even children. -Priestess of Farore

All the same, I don't see why long hair matters that much. It's a pain in the ass to maintain and have it not look like crap, and it's a fairly obnoxious obstacle if you're sharing a bed. -Priestess of Farore

I just took apart my entire keyboard and spent over half an hour every last key, nook, and cranny with cotton swabs, a pencil eraser, and a vacuum. I got so tired of looking down at the keyboard to gather my thoughts and seeing a bunch of grime, hair, food crumbs, and God knows what else that I had to take action. I think my OCD has finally manifested itself in full. -Priestess of Farore

The great thing about Wal-Mart is that no one looks like they're happy there, or really like they have any idea what they're doing. They just sort of wander the aisles aimlessly, pushing empty carts with a sort of forlon expression. -Priestess of Farore

Well, you see, I don't really pay attention to US currency, history, or well....anything, but today at work I was looking at this weird-ass new $1 coin some guy gave me, and I saw that it had 'e pluribus unum' etched into the rim of the coin, and I was like HOLYSHIT, I actually know what that means. After seeing it on money for 19 years and not even giving a shit. That's awesome....or very lame. I'm not sure which. -Priestess of Farore

Bah, the phone is a lame way to communicate anything beyond 'Hey, where am I meeting you? There? Okay.' All lengthy talking should be done in person. That way, if it gets boring, you can just start making out with the other person. -Priestess of Farore

Seriously. Your arm gets tired, your ear gets all hot and like it has cancer or something, and people just go on and on and on, and you're like 'Mhm, mhm, mhm,' and they're all, 'You're not really listening, are you?' And you're like 'MOTHAFUCKA I'VE BEEN ON THE PHONE FOR THREE HOURS, WHAT ELSE HAVE I HAD TO DO BUT LISTEN??!?!?!!' Holy crap, I am a dude. -Priestess of Farore

I'm not sure which is more creepy -- the fact that I very narcissistically spent the last hour reading almost every topic I'd created since April, or the fact that you were watching me the whole time. -Priestess of Farore

The only good thing on right now is the "Hot Nanny" episode of Scrubs, which I've seen like thirty times already. It's times like this when I begin to seriously lose my faith in humanity. Not in a ha-ha-funny way. In an 'oh my god, we are all going to go to hell and/or become a bunch of zombies and eat each other's brains until the apocalypse when Jesus comes riding in and he's like HAY GUYS TIME TO GO TO HEAVEN but everyone is too stupid and ugly and dead to go with him' kind of way. -Priestess of Farore

Latin fills me with this intensely perverse, masochistic, nerdy joy that cannot be rivaled by anything else in the known universe. -Priestess of Farore

I saw forced attempts at koala sex on Animal Planet once. LOADS of fun. -Priestess of Farore

Dear Niroht, the next time you hate the world, I invite you to try translating some Latin. It makes everything else in the world seem wonderfully simple and downright pleasant. -Priestess of Farore

When I'm on the internet, I always have at least two tabs open: Facebook and ZP. That's how much I love you guys. (Well, okay, I don't really love you guys because I don't really have "feelings" per se. However, I find you all very amusing and would probably be upset if you died in a plane crash.) -Priestess of Farore

Just be sure to wear proper shoes when you run so that you don't get shin splints, and for the love of God, wear a shirt. I'm tired of seeing boys running around thinking they're some hot shit, but just looking like they don't know how to get dressed in the morning. -Priestess of Farore

After browsing both for several hours, I slowly came to realize that Facebook is kind of like Wikipedia for people. You start with one person, become interested in a wall conversation or something, look at the other person's profile, see some random other person on the mutual friends list, and before you know it, you're off stalking your roommater's friend's girlfriend's sister who lives in Beirut or something. And now I'm off to get pizza and get the hell away from the internet for a while. -Priestess of Farore

I'm so good at foreign languages it makes other people sick. Seriously, I would finish a test in half the time it took the rest of the class and then they would all just start vomiting (very appropriate in Latin class). -Priestess of Farore

Well, you know what, after I found maggots on my cheese, symuun told me that it's better to bite into your apple and find a worm than to bite into your apple and find half a worm. So basically I'm trying to say that the moral here is, as it was in my case: I Don't Care, Symuun, It's Still Gross. -Priestess of Farore

Wisdom teeth are viciously attacking the inside of my face. OH GOD, THE PAIN. I think I need a few more extra-strength aspirin, and maybe some Jack Daniel's. And then my liver will explode. -Priestess of Farore

I went to Tokyo and I totally kicked the ass of all your life experiences put together. -Priestess of Farore

I have to confess I'm too distracted by other bands to be all like REGINASPEKTORALLINMYPANTS, but she is pretty damn awesome. -Priestess of Farore

*PoF marries pink and DCFC in a whirlwind of hot, wild polygamy and lives in the Fortress of Death Cab for ever and ever. * -Priestess of Farore

Well, I'd love to move to San Francisco and become a hedonistic lesbian, but I can't afford it. -Priestess of Farore

Um, I don't know about the rest of you, but reading is about 90% of what I do when I'm awake. Totally serious. I'm reading fifteen books this semester, and that's only for two of my classes. (Okay, so I'm only reading PARTS of fifteen books, but it sounds way cooler to say you're reading FIFTEEN WHOLE BOOKS OMG.) -Priestess of Farore

I actually got to take off my jacket today and not die. It was kind of awesome. -Priestess of Farore

Yeah...strawberries + hot, melting chocolate is like....borderline pornographic. -Priestess of Farore

Whenever anything is misspelled, it bugs the English. And me. -Priestess of Farore

I don't know, gay hobbit sex might just be able to win over pandas on parade. I mean, those guys are pretty, you know, intense. -Priestess of Farore

Nineteen IS almost twenty-two. It's almost twenty, which is almost twenty-five, which is almost thirty, which is almost dead. In my opinion anyway. What am I talking about, I'm almost eighteen. And THAT's almost nineteen, and oh...that slippery slope. -Priestess of Farore

We should meld together into a gorgeous hot-hair-and-neck beast of epic proportions. -Priestess of Farore


PyroSyde

As a matter of fact just steer clear of asking [women] anything at all... because they will talk and talk and talk. It's like "Jesus woman I just got in the door... can I take my shoes off first! GOD!" -PyroSyde


Raikou

What is this life you speak of? -Raikou


RoseofLonLonRanch

If I were driving a car right now, I'd be distracted by this computer....

Rosie

My ass is nasty, which is why I keep it covered. But only for the sake of the kiddies. -Rosie

That's horrible, I'm so sorry she played with you like that. I think kids in high school generally have no sense of human decency. What you should do, is work really hard in school, become a millionaire, and then at your school's reunion you can flaunt it while she tries to hit on you. That's the only successful revenge I've ever heard of. -Rosie

I have a boyfriend but he says it's his mother's birthday, so I will be spending V-day alone, on my couch, eating boatloads of chocolate and wishing my computer would live. -Rosie

In other news... I stopped wearing bras. I LOVE it XD Yeah, I can't run in public though, I think it would attract too much attention XD.

Hey guys, if Ben digs Paris, you know there will be a tape when they're done doing the shiggity shwa, and then we can all see Ben's skinny naked ass. DO IT BEN DO IT! -Rosie

Who needs love when you have Lord of the Rings? -Rosie


Roy

Can we stop being racist towards bread....then again I'm quite partial to white bread. -Roy


Sage

I had a life to attend to somewhere. But now I am dead so I can be here. -Sage


ShadowLink7

It's uberball. We skate around on ice with hockey sticks trying to beat a bowling ball over a net and get it into the other team's basket and knock down their pins. -ShadowLink7

I've had it with these muthafucking n00bs on this muthafucking board! -ShadowLink7


Sky

It would be kinda bad if the dots rebelled though, You wouldn't be able to end a phrase Wait I can't end the phrase Curse you dot army -Sky


skyfairie

I used to have a crappy old monitor from way back in the Windows 3.0 days (a true dinosaur of a monitor) until the colors went all crazy and it just about blew up in my face. -skyfairie


SonicShadow23

Even now I love finding out that the biggest box under the tree belongs to me. It's always like "FUCK YES, I OWNED YOU GUYS", and it's never something I expect. One year it was a karaoke machine. I never used it and actually ended up giving it to my older sister, but IT WAS THE BIGGEST BOX, FUCK YEAH. -SonicShadow23

Our cat jumps on my lap when I'm trying to take a dump. No matter how many times I try to move the damn thing, it's always like "lol ur pooping, lap tiem." -SonicShadow

You know it's summer when you stop spending so much time on the computer and get some fresh air and exercise. ...BAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! -SonicShadow23


symuun

We live in a universe where galaxies collide and tear holes in each other, and we're worried about a recession. What the fuck, Planet Earth. What the fuck. -symuun

That's not what I was thinking of. Like a thing that describes itself, not specifically this article. That might have been what Poffy was thinking of, though. I dunno. EDIT: After actually thinking about it for a moment, I'm talking out of my arse. I've been looking for a word that means "A thing that is like the thing that it is", and that is silly. -symuun

Save your other 1000 points, Poffy. Hoard them. Keep them for the day when Goldeneye 64 is released on VC. You will know it because choirs of angels will descend from the heavens and the faithful will be Raptured into heaven, where all the characters have been unlocked and DK Mode is forbidden. -symuun

Drink your drugs, stay in milk, don't do school. -symuun

And where art thine mental capacities for humour? Long gone, I fear. Alas, poor frontal lobes. I knew them well. -symuun

Oh sweet Jesus, chavs have discovered the internet. It was only a matter of time. The last safe haven, lost forever. -symuun

Silly Kao. It goes one, two, erm... then it's... damn it, I know this, hang on... th- wait. Fiv- no, that's not it. Hang on. Hard thinking. I was right the first time. Thirty! -symuun

Turning emo is a bit like going over to the dark side of the Force, really. No, it is. The quick and easy path to negative emotions is always open to you, and there's always that temptation to follow down it. But if you do, you will be led into a life of wearing black and making ominous statements. All it takes is one slightly dodgy event and the temptation grows ever stronger. -symuun

The ones that really bug me are the blackmailing ones, that say "A true friend will send this back". [symuun enters his own censor because ZP doesn't know British swear words] they will. Friends don't let friends spam each other. -symuun

Whoever invented safety scissors deserves to be shot. What is the point of taking an object whose only attribute is sharpness, and blunting it? They can't even cut through paper...


SZF2001

Gaia sucks. 4chan, 7chan, chittychan, chans suck. Now this one forum I go to, http://www.zeldapower.com/forum, is in fact the Internet version of Cheers.-SZF2001

I don't like a lot of things, but that doesn't mean I'm going to go out and protest them. Then I'd never be home. -SZF2001

Goldfish crackers are awesome, but... When I get a bowl of them, soon my jaw starts to hurt from all the extra chewing I have to do, and from my tongue moving around, getting the fish off the side's of my teeth (both sides). They need to fix this. -SZF2001

So here is my theory - I am a bear. I gain weight in winter and do nothing, while when the spring and summer seasons start I go back outside and not hibernate. I don't know any bears who have to go to school though. -SZF

[Cicadas] have never bugged me, or else I've never known about them, or heard them. I'm in the same boat as GD. This is a weird boat, GD. What ocean are we on? -SZF2001

Zelda is 20 now? So she's been legal for a while... :shift: -SZF2001

A message to all Bladders: Remember to empty yourself BEFORE going to bed, and when ever else needed. -SZF2001


The Teej

I did a little baking with your mum and the oven's set to 9 MONTHS. -The Teej

I hate the term "Souljah". It's like, WTF, learn to spell. It only proves rappers are too dumb to learn the language everyone else uses, so they make up their own words. -The Teej

Twins are simply paradoxes. They are simply one person sent back in time by a few minutes and kept there for all eternity. Why do you think twins have that sixth sense, that they know what's going to happen before it happens to each other, or that they can experience each others pain? They're living, breathing paradoxes. That's how. -The Teej


Triforce King

Grammar. GRAMMAR. Something you're BOTH abysmal at, so BOTH of you shut up and stop comparing the size of your grammatical penises, or I'll show you a -real- grammatical penis. -Triforce King

If you can find anything about ZC that's not mind-boggling, it will boggle my mind. -Triforce King

The easily amused have no limits, sir. -Triforce King

Go to Hell, Mike. Oh wait, I forgot, you -already- live in Canada! -Triforce King

It's not an anime without a perverted older man. -Triforce King

What most of this topic said to me: "Waaaah, I'm in a relationship with someone who trusts me with their problems, why can't I be all alone with very little contact with the outside world like TK?!" Jerks. -Triforce King

I think it might be the fact that she's in Mike's avatar that makes her seem unattractive, actually. I should really stop picking on Mike. :( I mean, his very existence is a cruel joke on him, and that's kind of hard to top. -Triforce King

Could this topic be any dumber? Of course, now that I've said that, Mike's going to come in. -Triforce King

I spend all day locked up in my room, eating junk food and drinking cokes. As that's really the only way to live life, I must be in the best shape humanly possible. -Triforce King

She was all, "Rar, I be leaving, Symuun not to make no more of topics until return does I!" Only grammatically correct. -Triforce King

No no no, you're doing that thing where you confuse my momma for yo' momma again. Least it's not in the middle of a grocery store this time. THAT was embarassing. -TK

What is marriage? It is a piece of paper. People use it to try (and fail) to stay faithful to each other. Pah. Pah I say. I take your marriage and I laugh at it. Marriage is not love, love is not marriage. Being the romantic that I am, I fully believe two people in love can act like a married couple all they want even if they're not married. That said, I still plan on getting married some day. It appeals to me, being the romantic that I am. I'm so feminine in that regard. I must do something manly! I'm going to go wrestle a t-rex in the nude. See you guys later! -Triforce King

That's right! You're no girly Brit! You can't spell worth crap, and you need to learn what to keep to yourself, but you are an American! You must have pride, for we are teh bomb! -Triforce King

Mother forgot giving birth to me! -Triforce King

Well, you see, when a Niroht and a bowl of mercury love each other.... -Triforce King

I thought grammar didn't matter? -Triforce King

It's more of an "err" sound than anything. It's hard to describe through text, you know. It's kind of like the sound it makes when you get your elbow jammed in the paper shredder, and someone sticks a pineapple in it, you know? -Triforce King

Let's discuss your favorite ZP memories. Of course, I'm sure 90% of them, if not more, strongly involve Triforce King. That guy's awesome. -Triforce King

This post I am typing should be put on your quotes page. -Triforce King

I wonder if [Pamela Anderson] can spell better than you? Well, she can definitely spell her name better than you can. -Triforce King, talking to Iron Knight when he misspelled it as "Pamala Anderson"

I sleep in jeans, I sit around at home in jeans, I go out and about in jeans, and I shower... well, without anything. It'd be downright hard to have a proper shower in your jeans. -Triforce King

Mornings? This word you use, it is unfamiliar. These "mornings" of yours, they must be limited to Canada, for surely I have never experienced such a thing. -Triforce King

Pfeh, you're Canadian, and merely a hocky fan, not a player. You can't be a real man. You have to be a little girly man attempting to pose as a man. Now real men, they do whatever they want. They want to drink tea? They do it. Someone's got a problem with it? Break their nose. -Triforce King

And Ben is all, "This... is... Canadaaaaaaa!" and then kicks people into a pit of hockey pucks or somethin'. -Triforce King

If I go out, I really only have to deal with one question. "You're going out?" -Triforce King

But anyways, Mike's an idiot, TK is the smartest man alive, and I probably shouldn't have put "and" there, because I'm out of things to say. -Triforce King

Well, if "next-generation" [smilies] means "oversized and hard on the eyes," then Mike's next-generation, too! -Triforce King

You know what they say about Texas. If you don't like the weather, just wait five minutes. :) -Triforce King

Kachow, kachow! Whenever I see ownage, I see ducks being shot out of the sky. Hence, kachow, kachow. -Triforce King

[Insert stupid, not-funny joke about the name Sorrow and emotion here. Bake on High for 3 minutes. Remove and enjoy.] Enjoy, dammit! -TK

You know ZP spits out random crap which are so ridiculous they make you want to cause a nuclear winter every 3.14 seconds just so that the world will be free of such nonsense, right? And no, that's not one of the things. I'm too cool to make people want to destroy the world. Plus I had pi in it! ... I had a point here somewhere.... -Triforce King

It's true! No such thing as too much. Unless it's too much poison in my limeade, too much little brother in the room, or too much sunlight on my pet vampire. -Triforce King

Everyone loves Groucho in a non-intimate way except for those that love him in an intimate way. :D -Triforce King

Normal - according with, constituting, or not deviating from a norm, rule, or principle; conforming to a type, standard, or regular pattern
Synonym: regular
Antonym: ZeldaPower -Triforce King

... You have friends outside of ZP? We're allowed to do that? -Triforce King

I once heard that we've got four seasons in Texas - nearly summer, summer, almost summer, and Christmas. -Triforce King

Mexican? There's no way that word's Mexican. It'd have to have like, fifteen syllables and an accent mark to be Mexican. -Triforce King, talking about the word "nice."

I hate math with the fury of a thousand disturbed beehives crossed with Pokemon. -Triforce King

Study? Are you people making up words again? -Triforce King

I don't oppose Iron Maiden. I oppose the OBSESSIVE, VERY ANNOYING AND REPETITIVE POSTING OF THEIR LYRICS. -Triforce King

Good Lord... Los Ositos Cariñositos? How do you Spanish-speakers get anywhere in the day when everything's so fricken' long to say? -Triforce King, when finding out that "Los Ositos Cariñositos" meant "Carebears." -Triforce King

The last time I cooked something difficult, my finger hit the super-hot stove things and scarred it for several years. That same finger, shortly before that, had been stung. On the joint. By two seperate bees. That finger needed counseling. -Triforce King

Freaking Mexican, eh? How is this particular one freaking? How do any Mexicans freak? How do you freak, for that matter? -Triforce King

Oh, please, geeks have hormones, too. -Triforce King


Waddle doo

I'm half way through the game and I'm about to beat it for the 3rd time and I'm wondering.... How do you move? -Waddle Doo

I draw circles that look like squares. -WaddleDoo

I sold my money. Don't ask. -Waddle doo


Wolfra

Activities: surviving in nature (manly way of saying camping) -Wolfra

What is XD again? Sounds like a shitty Windows version. -Wolfra


Ydna

Yes, but that's [Canada's] greatest strength! Nobody will see it coming when they suddenly attack! Do you really think they like hockey that much? Those players are special forces in disguise! Like Transformers! They've been doing genetic research to create super-beavers that can chew through steel and crush people with their tails! It's a ruse I tell you! -Ydna


Zaketo

I keep [my cellphone] handy so if I get crushed by a boulder, I can still manage to message my friends with funny videos I found on the internet. - Zaketo

IT'S NOT 2009 HERE YET. JESUS PUT SOME SPOILER TAGS ON THAT. -Zaketo

Whenever my parents see the games I'm playing they just say, "Why do you play that crap?" And then I get sad and cry. -Zaketo

I don't wear clothes, so this topic makes absolutely no sense to me. -Zaketo

(Zaketo wins by default, because his opponent is Missing.) That was a very stupid pun. Get it? Cuz, your name is Missing, and when the opponent isn't there....the other guy wins by default... Get it? -Zaketo

Revenge leads to the dark side, and the dark side leads to blindness, and blindness leads into accidentally mistaking someones shirt for a napkin. -Zaketo

I do nothing, I say nothing, and because everyone jabbers at once, I hear nothing. -Zaketo

I snuck into the girls bathroom once when noone was there. It was exactly like the boy's bathroom, except somebody scribbled on the wall "JESSICA IS A [count chocula]!" -Zaketo

I don't like my glasses. They stop my eyes from breathing. -zaketo

I feel your piano. I mean pain, you know I meant pain. -zaketo


Zan-Kun

I opened my presents last night. Wasn't gonna be here for Christmas so I got to open them early. =P I got: 5-string bass w/ amp, CD/Clock radio, [n]ew wallet ([g]ood, seeing as mine got washed a few days ago), and [t]he PSP I'm using to post this. It's true. [The PSPs] do just about everything. Except sex. Still need a woman for that. -Zan-Kun


ZC

Hardcore gamers ("bad geeks") are always so mean! and ugly and they do everything WRONG. -Rebecca

People really do suck, they won't hire me and they won't give you Zelda junk! -Rebecca

I think I collected Yu-Gi-Oh cards for about 15 minutes. I did collect strippers for a little longer than that, though. -Rebecca

Funfact: I read Cosmo sometimes. It's absolute trash but that's probably why I like it. -Rebecca

I resolved to make no resolutions. -Rebecca

I hated boy bands even when I was ten. Before we had a CD burner I made tapes of Zelda music I downloaded off the net with a tape recorder and that was my music. I still have them, I don't know how I did such a good job actually XD -Rebecca

See, I don't drop my amazing liquid soap. Which is good, because it would be hard to pick up. -Rebecca

OMG, today I fell asleep in history while taking notes (we call history "nap time" for a reason - we always fall asleep) except somehow I managed to keep WRITING IN MY SLEEP. Sleep-writing, if you will. So now my notes make no sense. "The foundations of Prussian greatnes were la is bcomeone o." Um, how profound? -Rebecca

HEY, I love the Hippie Handbook. It is full of lulz. Not the Dutch kind. That would be gross. And even more uncultured. XD -Rebecca

Did you hear the one about the gay toilet? He's flushed with pride. -Rebecca

I always hate running, just because I feel like my boobs are bouncing all over the place like some corny porno movie. -Rebecca

I find this all fascinating...now I know why my mom likes soap operas. -Rebecca

The problem with Facebook is anyone you've made eye contact with in the past 10 years seems to think they should be your friend. -Rebecca

Next time I have difficult homework, I'll do it on the toilet. -Rebecca

SHRIVEL UP AND FALL OFF. YOU CAN BREATHE THROUGH YOUR EARS. -Rebecca

Ew, I don't like tomorrow. Sounds boring. -Rebecca

I have a shirt and a pair of socks from American Eagle. That doesn't mean I'm rich or stupid or trying to fit in. It means I own a shirt and a pair of socks. -Rebecca

If I were abused by an onion when I was little I doubt that would cause me to like them. -Rebecca

I played 15 hours of fucking Pokemon. -zc

Avoid awkward and annoying alliterations. -ZC

Well, since you're a dany, it's easy for you to recognize members of a similar species. -zc

It's easy [to tie a tie]. Just steal it from your dad with the knot still in. -zc

I hate wearing tights. They get destroyed so easily. -zeldas cousin

I sound like a 5 year old girl shouting from like 10 miles away. -zc

Once I was sailing [in The Wind Waker], I went to the bathroom and came back, and I still wasn't where I was going. :ph34r: -zc

Haha, I spend so much time in my room and on the computer [that] once I saw my dad in the living room, and he was like, "Hey, I have a daughter who looks just like you! She's probably on the computer right now." -zc

Tough guys wear fuchsia, not pink! -zc

Once a couple of years ago I decided I didn't care and let my mom buy my shoes for me, and she came home with two left shoes. -zc

My friend's baby Spice Girl's head fell off and I had a headless Ken so we were so sure they should get married or something. XD -zc

dany is a simple dot.-zc

Moira wore a t-shirt today. It’s a sign of summer. XD -zc

I must have all media thingies even if I don’t use them! -zc

Many schools are using the homosexual lifestyle these days. XD -zc

Hehehehehe, I'm cool. I have this can of Ninja Turtles slime, and I pretended to sneeze with it so my mom would think it was snot. -zc

Off-topic is woven into the fabric of the OoT community. -zc

"I'm not 40! I'm $39.95! -T-shirt" -zc

I suppose I'll have to learn to accept my computer's preferred lifestyle -_-' -Rebecca


zeypherlink

This is not a smilie - >:( Because it is frowning. And yet it is still called a smilie. Why? I dunno that's why I am asking you guys. -zeypherlink


Zombie Hugz

Everyone is always afraid of needles, clowns, or spiders. You people need to get more original with your phobias. -Zombie Hugz

Victoria's Secret, land of pink, too many mannequins, and over-priced items all around! -Zombie Hugz

Travel with zombies next time; we can't get drunk, we follow loyally (though at a somewhat slow pace), and we eat anyone you point at. -ZombieHugz

Everyone knows the last half hour of work or school is a timeslip zone where it continuously loops. -Zombie Hugz


Multiple people

symuun: I think I got Most Likely To Be A Billionaire, Most Likely To Be a Mad Scientist and possibly also Most Likely to be Prime Minister. Fun times.
Priestess of Farore: In the not-too-distant dystopian future toward which Great Britain is always striving, those are really all the same position.

ZC: i guess being fat means you'll survive childbirth so that's sexy XD
Mike: not dying is pretty sexy yes

ZC: Mike sent me The Soundhouse Tapes.
Kero: ZC sent me The Soundhouse Tapes.

Apoptosis: It's like a fat person. They can eat all they want, and still get away with it, just by suing a fast food joint. I'll go into some kind of detail once I'm fully awake.
Triforce King: Do me a favor and spare me whatever detail such a ridiculous analogy could have, 'kay?

Acid Rain Delay: Yo momma is soo fat... every time she turns around it's her birthday!
Evan: Considering that rotation is focused around the center of the body, a person's weight/mass would not really factor in to how quickly they turn around. I mean, no matter how big a person is in terms of fat, their legs still remain the same distance apart, thus rotation speed remains somewhat constant. This is of course excluding the physical exertion required to move said mass, however one could figure that if she can complete a single rotation she can complete the next just as quickly, if not faster. A more appropriate use would be 'Yo momma is so fat, every time you walk around her its her birthday' Although why one would walk repeatedly around ones mother, taking a period of a year each time, and not make comment about how her weight problem is out of control boggles my mind.

Bored: So... Who's gonna get in their car and blast Jackson's Greatest Hits down the streets all night?
Cooltrainer Tim: I'm just gonna touch a little boy and call it a night.

Ben the Fantastic: Nobody gets off on my watch. NOBODY
Majoraslayer: His girlfriend can confirm that. OHDANGSNAP0WND

Mike: Strongman.
ZC: In the OoT Community, we like being repetitive.
Mike: Strongman.

symuun: I would nominate the '00s for my favourite decade, if only it had a coherent identity.
Priestess of Farore: I find the stylistic incoherence of this decade to be the delightful thing about it, really. It suits my schizophrenic musical tastes rather well.

The Teej: Dark Link. Not lame Link. Dark Link is a lot more agile then any of the covenant pussies Master Chief faces and could probably dodge MC's melee attacks. Plus, Dark Link stays close at all times, meaning 'Chief wouldn't be able to make that great of a shot.
Ben: Teej is right. It's harder to shoot things that are close to you.

bored: Someone once said I look like Bob Saget.
Poe: Maybe in the way that you're both not funny.

Fuzzy: My mom said that she doesn't even grade assignments. She just bases their grades at the end of the year on how well they behaved during class. But she also teaches 3rd and 4th grade special ed.
PoF: I wish they did that in college. That would show all the smartasses who have to inject themselves into every discussion possible even though they don't actually have anything relevant to say, they just want to hear themselves talk.

ShadowLink7: I dunno, gas prices are pretty low in comparison to what they were in August. I found some for $2.79 today. It almost gave me a boner.
Linko: They always go down around the election.
Majoraslayer: So do gas prices

Goddess Din: Once, I stuffed a whole burrito in my mouth.
Gizmo: Is that what they call it in Mexico? You dirty, dirty girl.

firecheetah: Actually I always kinda thought Ryu-Gi liked men. Y'know, the whole "over-compensate for repressed homosexuality" thing. Color me surprised.
Largo: Surprised isn't in my crayon set. :(

Apoptosis: [Guitar Hero] is not fun. Fucking bitches try to show me up on a guitar, and they suck harder than Monica Lewinski. Also, people are lazy. Teach yourself how to play. It takes longer, but it is more gratifying.
Ben: I know where you're coming from. Except for me, it's with Halo. I can't stand seeing those 12 year old posers who think they're real space marines just because they can play a game. Then when I show up to their house in my battle suit armed with a Spartan Laser, they get all pissy when I disintegrate their dog. Go figure.

MrSupreme: WHO WANTS TO BONE
Outlaw Blues: this guy right here

Niroht: Oh, by the way, if the OP ends up not able to get all the Gold Skulltulas, there's a glitch in Hyrule Castle to get infinite ones.
Sikaru: But....that's cheating! ;_;
Niroht: Hey, if the game dead-ends you....
Triforce King: ... make dead-end-ade?

Gizmo: Yeah, much much slower [than FF2]. Firefox 2 launces in about two bounces but FF3 takes no less than 10 bounces (in the Dock, applications bounce during startup).
Majoraslayer: If you weren't using so much of your CPU power to bounce your damn applications, I'm sure you wouldn't have nearly so much trouble starting them.

WellY: I'd laugh and flex my STRONG ARMS and win. Kekekekeke.
Linko: Silly Mike, STRONG ARMS are for GD!

Goddess Din: A sexy notebook and a sexy woman. I am surprised no one has suggested lesbian sex.
Priestess of Farore: You weren't here yet.

MuffinMage: Contraception makes Baby Jesus cry.
firecheetah: God fucking damn it, when is Baby Jesus not crying? That kid needs some mother fucking counseling or some shit, the emo bastard.

bored 1: The purple [Ninja Turtle]. Nothing's better than a giant rod.
Goddess Din: Am I the only one who noticed bored's homoerotic repressed wish?

Pinflan Jinglewit: I don't think she's really looking for advice. She's probably just looking for someone that will actually listen to her and be on her side.
Gatsby: Then she should find a brick wall.

Zane: I ENDED the argument with mass deletion.
firecheetah: You know who else ended an argument that way? HITLER.

Gatsby: And as far as I'm concerned Cloud's more of a man then any of us. Hell even Tidus is, when's the last time any of us saved the world? That's right, the last time we played as Cloud or Tidus.
JasonRose17: When was the last time the world was being attacked by an overgrown whale that shot energy beams?

Ben: My province never has a label. :(
PoF: It's too tiny and insignificant, that's why.
Ben: I'll show YOU tiny and insignificant.
Pinflan: Oh my God. If I were less classy, I would make you rue the day you typed that out.

Sikaru: Dick. :P
Linko: Reading this out of context was perhaps the greatest moment of my life.

Backstabber: Evan's cool, just let him be.
Windmill: We are on a Zelda board, none of us are cool. :grumpy:

bored1: What's so good about iPods when you can get a PSP instead?
Kao: But the Ipod has Solitare and Hexen on it! That's like... 5 more games than the PSP has!

Kao: Kirby's never online. Kirby smells of socks.
Priestess of Farore: Maybe Kirby is doing laundry, then.

Sorrow: Put this forum on top. Nobody notices it down there.
Ben: It doesn't matter where we put it, people still can't read.

Muffin Mage: Do you ever hear people yell "CANADA FUCK YEAH"? No, you don't. That would be silly. QED.
Ben the Fantastic: No, because that would be rude. CANADA, YES PLEASE!

Mike: Hey, GD, were there Dinosaurs when you were a wee lass?
Kero: No, dinosaurs weren't even invented back then.

SZF2001: I need something to stick in my ears. Apparently, my headphones aren't loud enough. My parents room is right above me. All I can hear is *hump hump hump hump hump hump hump hump hump hump* from above me.
Majoraslayer: It could be worse. Your grandparents could be in one room, and your sister could be in another with her boyfriend. Then you would have it in surround sound. You should walk in wearing sunglasses, avoid looking at them, and ask them why they're wrestling so loud.

Zaketo: THE TRIFORCE IS IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HERPES VIRUS! TIME TO GET TO WORK!
Ben the Fantastic: I'VE GOT THE HERPES VIRUS OF COURAGE

bored: If you love Symuun so much, why don't you just marry him?
Gatsby: I did once, but he always came home drunk and one night he assaulted me with a Heiniken bottle and I ran away and started a new life.

Gizmo: Could someone tell me what this means in Japanese? ッ It looks like a smiley, but I highly doubt it is one.
Gatsby: My extensive knowledge of Japanese symbols leads me to believe that that's a question mark.

Rich Hobo: ...I feel pwned...
Bored 1: You are pwned. =[
Rich Hobo: Well thats y i FEEL pwned, SHEESH!!!

Largo: können es jetzt Deutsch zeit sein?
TK: Is that Nazi for "I'm a Nazi?" It must be, since you're a Nazi, Nazi.

ZC: WHY ARE THERE PICTURES OF TAI IN MY FONTS FOLDER
TK: Maybe she's just your type?

ZC: Where is TK, anyways?
bored_1: He must be herding cattle or doing some other miscellaneous Texan
activity.

Gizmo: Dammit, Apple! What happened? They unveiled the 'new' iMac today and... well, take a look: [image snip] It's completely unispirational. It's like they mixed the aluminum of the Pro models, the black of the iPhone and the white of the MacBook into one, ugly, uncreative computer.
The Teej: You could say it's an iSore!

Midna of Twilight: Sorry, but your post is so long it makes me not want to take the time to read it.
Lord Evan: Then, Midna my dear, if I may ask, why did you say anything at all? Obviously, if you have nothing intelligent to contribute to the discussion, you simply say nothing. It's a good policy.
Gatsby: I'd suspect her post count would still be at 0 then. God damn, I'm on a roll today.

pink: I think Matt Damon is a hottie. I had a dream where we were lovers and had rough, passionate sex. It was a good dream.
Gatsby: You too?!I mean...I had a dream that I had a slap fight with a Grizzly bear while riding a canoe down some raging rapids and other manly not having sex with dudes stuff.

Iron Knight: And my careing systems fail, don't forget to mention that!
Triforce King: Your spelling systems fail, too.

The Teej: You can't spell LIE with IE! Don't deny it, it's true!
Poe the Great: Sure you can spell lie with ie! You can't spell FAIL without Teej, though.

Goddess Din: I believe that any girl in this forum has far more knowledge in naked women than any of you.
Lord Evan: Except Windmill. I know her body better than she does.

SZF2001: I have to do a number two. What goes with me? DS or PSP
Majoraslayer: PS3, so that you can dispose of all number two at the same time.

Ben: "Should've" isn't a word. =[
PoF: It's a contraction. You can pretty much contract anything you want these days.
Mike: Especially AIDS. Be careful, kids.

PK: Hey, HOBL, what does Kamite Suki Watachi mean?
Mike: "Steak is good." Trust me, I have a Ph. D in Japanese.

Kero: Midna is a *****. Discuss
Majoraslayer: I wish I was a series of asterisks. In fact, I'd like to just some day meet a walking set of asterisks.

PoF: Anyway, I'm liking this kind of "business as usual" approach. If you need to get something, barge in and get it. If you wanna go to sleep, turn out the light and go to sleep. and definitely, definitely, if you need to get dressed after a shower, go in there, drop your towel and get dressed after a shower.
SL7: But I won't sink that low. My dad might think I'm gay or something
Ben: OH SO NOW IT'S "LOW" TO BE GAY IS IT.

Me: Are you on Winter Break now?
Kero: Psh, no, we have another week. You shouldn't be on Winter Break at all. Winter in Texas, psh. It gets all the way down to 80. =o

TK: I thought that Chinese blood instantly made you able to read those funny squiggles! :o I know English blood lets you read English right off the bat, German blood lets you read German, and Irish blood lets you get drunk, but Chinese blood doesn't let you read Chinese?!
PoF: No, it just gives you the ability to cook rice and drive really, really badly

PK: I always know where my glasses are. Wait. . . Where are my glasses?
Mike: Your face, lol. I am the master of wit. B)

Pixie King: TK...what is Green Day?
Mike: It's a day where you can only see green. It happens every 200-500 years. Rumour has it that it's coming up December 14. Should be exciting. ;)

Pixie King: Stop confusing me! My head is already swarmed with trying to figure out everything else.
Groucho: Let us help you... =[ What is it you don't understand?
Pixie King: EVERYTHING.
Triforce King: Well, you see, when a man and a woman love each other....
Groucho: Sometimes it can also be two men, or two women.... Or more.
Pixie King: O_O Aye Yai Yai
Groucho: Or two lions!
Triforce King: Egh, now it's dirty!

fox09: It is not peanut butter jelly time. =[
Largo: But it is toasted Nutella bagel time. :teehee:

Niroht: Gah! Punctuate! Capitalise!
Roghan: nO!",.

Windmill: What's the cost of your awesome course?
Tjalian: Less than a PlayStation 3 LOL

Groucho: I smell an argument! :D
Keropium: That's just Niroht.
Niroht: Forgot my deodorant.

Ganny: Malink, you should host it on Comicgenesis. ZP and ZD can link you!
MaLink: What in the world is Comicgenesis? :shift:
MuffinMage: Certainly not a webcomic community! :shift:

Darkmoonchild: [The Wind Waker] didn't suck, but it was short as hell. And stuff was thrown on at the end.
Evan: God, that sounds like a description of my first sexual experience! >> J/K.

Me: I saw this Mexican movie today. It was soooo Mexican. I was like, "DANG, I never thought things could get more Mexican than this!"
Kero: Wetback Mountain.

Priestess of Farore: But sometimes nothing gets everyone's attention like a good tactical lesbianfest.
Majoraslayer: Thats an interesting theory as well. I may introduce it to my teachers; to keep everyone's attention, the school system needs only to hire two attractive lesbian teachers for each classroom. They could make out through class to keep everyone's attention
Priestess of Farore: But then they would be watching the hot lesbians and not paying attention to Edgar Allen Poe or whatnot.
Majoraslayer: ....what's your point? :teehee:

12:24:27 AM Catherine: It's April 1st!!!!!
12:24:34 AM Ben: It is
12:24:42 AM Ben: it's my birthday! :-O
12:24:49 AM Catherine: :-O really?!
12:24:51 AM Ben: haha no
12:24:52 AM Ben: april fools

Darkmoonchild: The game pwnz. Period.
Evan: Just beacause you said pwnz not only nullifies but reverses that statement
Darkmoonchild: *Sigh* The game is very VERY fun. Happy now? Jesus.
freebooter: Did you just call Evan Jesus?
Evan: Damn, my cover is blown >> You'll never catch me, mere mortals! *runs across the ocean*

pink: I'm going out tonight... With a boy. And his friends. And my friend Katie. But still. :teehee:
Dark Nayru: You'll be back by 9:30, young lady, and no hanky-panky. :angry:
pink: Mommy... I'm pregnant. :looove:
Mike: You didn't even leave yet. :ph34r:
ZC: Now THAT's talent. :shift:

Groucho: *Sigh* Americans and their censorship.
Goddess Din: *Sigh* Grouchos and their animals. =[

BluE: Saw 2 was crazy.
DMC: I haven't seen it. =(
Kao: Yeah, I SAW it. ;D

Wolfra: In Communist Russia, lottery wins you.
Me: I never got those jokes.
Ben: In Communist Russia, Jokes get you.

Mike: [The topic] is gone.
Kero: Unlike your virginity. OMG WTF PWNED.

Niroht: I disagree with YO' MOTHA!
TK: My mother has not said anything audible to you, and as she's back in her room alone, probably hasn't said anything at all, except for that sneeze just a moment ago, but you had already posted that before the sneeze, though it'd be stupid to disagree with a sneeze anyways.

Mike: Where's the Heavy Metal?
Facelessman: It died. I killed it. Ran over it with my car. Twice.
Triforce King: Thank you!

Mike: Your mom jokes are so old.
Facelessman: Yeah, she really needs to come up with new ones.

Muffin Mage: Stick your tongue on both terminals of a 9 volt battery. That's what power tastes like.
BluE: No, Muffin, that's what stupidity tastes like.

Kero: That ferret's been around the block.
Lucas: Around the block...TO YOUR MOM'S HOUSE! Oh snap, didn't see that one coming around the block did you? DOUBLE SNAP OWNED